Bored in Work 304 (1 Viewer)

[ernesto]

 

[ernesto]

http://fuzbo.blogspot.com/2007/09/always-maxi-pad-user.html

Always Maxi-pad User

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your “Always” maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from “the curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t.

Well, my “time of the month” is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.” Isn’t the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers’ monthly visits from “Aunt Flo”. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behaviour.

You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants…

Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a Happy Period.”

Are you fucking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like “Put down the Hammer” or “Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong”, or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull shit. And that’s a promise I will keep.

Always.

Best, Wendi Aarons Austin, TX

 

[Froog]

worst own goal ever:

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[therealjohnny]

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[flashback]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7351810.stm

Helen Golay, 77, and Olga Rutterschmidt, 75, befriended the men from around Los Angeles, put them up in flats and took out insurance policies.
The two men were then drugged and killed in staged road accidents.

Harsh.

http://colorwar2008.com/submissions/youngnow

nice idea, then and now pictures...

 

[therealjohnny]

http://colorwar2008.com/submissions/youngnow

nice idea, then and now pictures...

that's cool

and slightly depressing

 

[therealjohnny]

We will probably be sickened with this in the weeks to come in a "perfect Day" way

but for now

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[therealjohnny]

LINK


This monocycle replica from 1873 is an stunning engineering and mechanical feat. Created by a spaniard using 19th Century documentation and old-style handcrafting techniques, it uses a 6.16-foot wheel, with a 238-teeth inner segment. As you can see in the gallery, the quality of his work is simply amazing.

 

[nofriendo]

http://www.engadget.com/2008/04/17/bus-driver-chooses-gps-over-gigantic-warning-sign-plows-into-ov/

 

[therealjohnny]

Pinhead

 

[Mormon Nailer]

Well......?




what is it?

I have no idea - but the URL is almost as interesting as the picture!

 

[flashback]

Well......?




what is it?

Some class of rocket engine being test for thrust, I'd say.

 

[therealjohnny]

 

[flashback]

China in being total cunts shocker
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/apr/18/china.armstrade

A Chinese cargo ship believed to be carrying 77 tonnes of small arms, including more than 3m rounds of ammunition, AK47 assault rifles, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades, has docked in the South African port of Durban for transportation of the weapons to Zimbabwe...


...issued on April 1, three days after Zimbabwe's election...

Despite international criticism, the Chinese government has been a longstanding backer of Zimbabwe president Robert Mugabe's authoritarian regime, supplying it with jet fighters, military vehicles and guns.

Well done boys.

 

[pete]

Some class of rocket engine being test for thrust, I'd say.

don't tell me you don't recognise a J58 turbojet when you see one? From the CIA's A-12 reconnaissance plane?

ah lads.

https://www.cia.gov/library/center-...ications/books-and-monographs/a-12/index.html

 

[flashback]

don't tell me you don't recognise a J58 turbojet when you see one? From the CIA's A-12 reconnaissance plane?

ah lads.

https://www.cia.gov/library/center-...ications/books-and-monographs/a-12/index.html

Jaysus. It is and all. I saw one of those Blackbird planes in the flesh as well. Not as big as I was thinking it was.

 

[flashback]

J: And know'st thou what the French name cottage pie?
V: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
J: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
V: What say they then, pray?
J: Hachis Parmentier.
V: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
J: Cream is but cream, only they say le crème.
V: What do they name black pudding?
J: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought.

 

[mugagag]

This was on facebook, what an offer!.|..|