Bored in Work 18 (Icon versus Icon) (4 Viewers)

[silo]

hah! in the 20.

 

[snakybus]

I'm feeling depressed today, so in retribution to the world, I am unleashing my shite jokes on you all. Hopefully you'll soon feel my pain. Here goes.

So anyway, a horse, a rabbi, a prostitute, a priest, a guy with a genie lamp, and a dancing bear walk into a bar.

The barman says:

"What is this, some kind of joke?"

wha
wha
wha

 

[snakybus]

bag of Tayto walks into a bar

Barman: "Sorry we don't serve food"


jeez I'm on fire today

 

[Latex lizzie]

.a rabbi, a nun , an Irishman, a lesbian, a doctor and superman are all having a drink at a bar..














ah for get it.

 

[snakybus]

A guy has erectile disfunction, and his girlfriend is pissed off with this. So he goes to his doctor and the doctor is like, actually you're not impotent, it's just that your mickey muscles are fucked, you need a muscle graft, that's all, but that costs major major money.

The guy is distraught.

So the doctor goes, look, I can do it for you - illegally, mind - but I'll have to use animal muscle from this vet buddy of mine, as it's cheap and easy enough to come by. The guy goes, hot damn, go for it.

The doctor goes to his vet buddy and asks him for some animal muscle. The vet is clean out of animal mickey muscle apart from a muscle from an elephant's trunk that's lying around. So the doctor shrugs his shoulders, muscle is muscle after all, and buys it because it's going cheap.

Anyway, he does the operation, and when the guy wakes up, the doctor's smiling and says, the operation was a success. The guy is delighted, so the first thing he does is invite his girlfriend out for dinner so he can show off his dick.

At dinner, the girlfriend can't wait to see how it is, so he unzips his trousers. Next thing his willy pops out, grabs a bread roll, and disappears again. The girlfriend is impressed.

"That's amazing, can you do that again"

With a look of pain, the guy says:"Well I would, but I'll never fit another bread roll up my arse"

woo!

 

[Latex lizzie]

..woo! x2

 

[snakybus]

A doctor likes to stop off for a hazelut daiquiri every evening after work. One day the barman realises that he has no hazelnut flavour left, so he gives him a hickory flavoured one instead. But the doctor does notice.

"Barman, what is this?"

"It's a hickory daiquiri, doc"

Man, I kill me.

 

[snakybus]

you fuckers feeling my pain yet?

eh? eh?

 

[coraline]

the home school liaison teacher in my school went yesterday to visit the mother of one of my particularly monster- like kids in the pearse st flats.

after talking her way past the two guys with baseball bats at the door she got to the flat and rang the bell. the mother opened the door, dressed only in g string and corset, fag in hand, leaning seductively against the door post.....
expecting a customer ??????
or maybe just a man friend.....

the worst thing is she is definitely NOT corset material

now i have a lovely image in my head every time i see her......

 

[silo]

yikes

 

[snakybus]

Curiously, that story enhanced my pain, but in a way that was pleasurable.

 

[silo]

yikes

Originally posted by snakybus
Curiously, that story enhanced my pain, but in a way that was pleasurable.

 

[sarah]

There is two huge big rainbows outside the window
just now and the people I'm working with would rather stare
at their stupid computer screens,
I've never seen a rainbow that vividly coloured before,


It can piss rain all day for all I care cause that's me
in a good mood now!

 

[minka]

There is two huge big rainbows outside the window

ooh, get her and her "windows".

we don't believe in natural light here in our engineering labyrinth.

 

[snakybus]

Dangnabbit, now that's just gone and made it even worse.

 

[sarah]

hhhmpf, I wish my *colleagues* could feel
some of your pain......
People that are indifferent to rainbows deserve
a little anguish in their life!

 

[rocktopus]

hmmm- i too was just admiring a huge rainbow outside.....you dont happen to work with me by any chance...?

looks nervously around with a strange sense of unease

Im the one sitting by a computer

 

[sarah]

Originally posted by rocktopus
hmmm- i too was just admiring a huge rainbow outside.....you dont happen to work with me by any chance...?

looks nervously around with a strange sense of unease

Im the one sitting by a computer

oh my god are you that big hairy guy to my left?

 

[rocktopus]

nope- but theres a hairy guy beside me too!maybe im sitting at your desk, in your seat and... no..no....

 

[sarah]

Originally posted by rocktopus
nope- but theres a hairy guy beside me too!maybe im sitting at your desk, in your seat and... no..no....