Unpopular Opinions (1 Viewer)

[Cornu Ammonis]

The people talking about Aisling Murphy's boyfriend losing his "soulmate," they were in their early 20's so who knows.

That doesn't negate or reduce his legitimate terrible grief, both for the loss of the woman he loved, and for the life he was picturing for himself, and her.

But I'm sure we've all known people who thought they were with their soulmates at that age and now aren't. Maybe someone of us thought we were.

Edit: Also his victim impact statement was full of racist dog whistles. There should be space allowed for his anger and grief, he's been through a awful experience. But it was.

I haven’t read it so can’t comment beyond my own situation but I met my wife when we were 16 and we knew that was it, we’ve been together now for 23 years. It happens.

 

[Unicron]

I haven’t read it so can’t comment beyond my own situation but I met my wife when we were 16 and we knew that was it, we’ve been together now for 23 years. It happens.

Absolutely it does, I've a cousin who's long married to and has multiple kids with the boyfriend she started going out with in our school at 16 or 17. But those are generally outliers. I know more people who were madly in love and set for life in their early 20's who were with other people before they were 30 then people who are still together. Who and what you want as a young adult isn't necessarily the same by the time you reach 27.

I met my fiance (side note I have one of those now) aged 39 and after dropping her home after our first date I remember thinking that there could be something really big here, when it hits you it hits you.

I hope the lad is eventually able to live with the grief, I doubt it'll ever leave him, grief in my experience never really does, and is able to find love again, and if he does it won't diminish his relationship with Aisling or the love he felt for her.

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

fiance (side note I have one of those now)

Congratulations!

I don’t disagree with any of your post aside from the outlier bit, I’d say about a third of our friends have partners from when they were teens. (Though I’m aware in the grand scheme of things we could be a group of outliers!)

 

[egg_]

I'm very leery of victim impact statements in general, and public outpourings of sympathy from people who don't know the victims even more so. It's just all a bit prurient

 

[Unicron]

I'm very leery of victim impact statements in general,

There's an element to them which I'm uncomfortable with because the law is supposed to be dispassionate and it's not really fair if victim a of a crime puts forward a more compelling or sympathetic account as to how it's effected them than victim b of a similar crime who is less articulate or emotive and the convicted person in case a gets hit harder.

Having said that if I'm assaulted by someone and my attacker is charged then AFAIK the accused is not charged with a crime against me, it's a crime against the state. And victims should have what they've had done to them acknowledged in some fashion I suppose.

 

[ann post]

The minor complaints thread is one big minor victim impact statement.

Defo a solid UO

I think it brings the human in, rather than some fool doing something 20 times and not caring about a fine or whatever, it brings the non cop human into the crime.

 

[egg_]

/me strokes chin

You mean victim impact statements might actually deter people from doing bad things? Hmm, interesting idea

 

[rettucs]

Edit: Also his victim impact statement was full of racist dog whistles. There should be space allowed for his anger and grief, he's been through a awful experience. But it was.

agreed, and I'm loathe to be too harsh on the guy, given what he has experienced.

But really, he should have been advised better on that part. He came across as a racist prick.

 

[rettucs]

I haven’t read it so can’t comment beyond my own situation but I met my wife when we were 16 and we knew that was it, we’ve been together now for 23 years. It happens.

I can see that. I mean the first time I met you, I just knew......

 

[therealjohnny]

A friend of mine married the girl he met when he was 19 and she was 17. They've been together for almost 40 years and have a load of kids. And have never had oral sex.

 

[magicbastarder]

There's an element to them which I'm uncomfortable with because the law is supposed to be dispassionate and it's not really fair if victim a of a crime puts forward a more compelling or sympathetic account as to how it's effected them than victim b of a similar crime who is less articulate or emotive and the convicted person in case a gets hit harder.

Having said that if I'm assaulted by someone and my attacker is charged then AFAIK the accused is not charged with a crime against me, it's a crime against the state. And victims should have what they've had done to them acknowledged in some fashion I suppose.

i can see why they introduced them - that many victims, or relatives of victims, felt that they were not really part of the process, or that the necessarily dispassionate discussion of the crime in court might have diminished the emotional aspect of it somehow.

but likewise, i am not comfortable with them; surely one of the roles of the justice system is separating the victim from the punishment; and two identical crimes could have differing effects on the victims, so should that be accounted for or not?
e.g. if a murder victim is single, there is no partner to give the statement, but that has no bearing on the crime.

 

[JohnnyRaz]

A friend of mine married the girl he met when he was 19 and she was 17. They've been together for almost 40 years and have a load of kids. And have never had oral sex.

maybe they're saving that for the golden wedding anniversary?

 

[flashback]

And have never had oral sex.

Hold on. What, was that just lobbed into a conversation somewhere?

I'm going to need details here. Like neither of them, ever? Never? At all? Or just usually don't.

Like, I've "never" done coke, in the sense I've literally never knowingly used cocaine. Whereas I "never" smoke weed, meaning obviously I have smoked weed, I just don't really like it, I typically don't, and haven't for a long time. There's different flavours of never.

Then there's defining oral sex, like, they've never kissed the person even nearby? Maybe he hasn't camped out down there and induced some massive orgasm, but surely there was an occurrence of some lips touching something during the throws.

Basically, I'm not buying it.


Speaking of unpopular sexual opinions, a friend of mine, this very nice, sensible, Korean woman, told me she had basically no interest in vaginal sex. She only came via anal sex, preferably rough anal sex, preferably with no lube because if feels sandy.

I tried really hard to keep a neutral face, because, no one wants to shame anyone. But when she was going into details about the sandy thing, I realised I was out of my depth and needed to change the topic of conversation.

She later told me she was fond of shooting squirrels, with a 22 rifle, out of the kitchen window or off the porch. Then she'd gather them up, and eat them. Every now and again I'd go back over things she told me from months back, to make sure she wasn't ripping the piss out of me. Apparently not.

 

[therealjohnny]

Hold on. What, was that just lobbed into a conversation somewhere?

I'm going to need details here. Like neither of them, ever? Never? At all?

Yep. Imagine

 

[flashback]

Yep. Imagine

Interesting.
There's 4 different things that are very commonly enjoyed, the chances that both of them neither want to give, or receive, oral sex seems improbable. I feel there needs to be a reason.

Jesus would see, and be really upset, and invalidate their entry ticket to heaven?

Or because it's gross and unhygienic and that's where pee comes from doncha know?

Or just genuinely both sure that it's not something that anyone would like, so we're erring on the side of caution and never doing it?

 

[therealjohnny]

Interesting.
There's 4 different things that are very commonly enjoyed, the chances that both of them neither want to give, or receive, oral sex seems improbable. I feel there needs to be a reason.

Jesus would see, and be really upset, and invalidate their entry ticket to heaven?

Or because it's gross and unhygienic and that's where pee comes from doncha know?

Or just genuinely both sure that it's not something that anyone would like, so we're erring on the side of caution and never doing it?

I think it was just good old-fashioned Irish Catholic awkwardness about sex

 

[seanc]

Is there something in the stars or something? You lot are talking like that, and last night I was cornered by a mate who insisted on telling me all about what he has and hasn't gotten up to with partners sexually. Didn't ask.

For what it's worth, I think it's to do with who you're with. It happens or it doesn't.

 

[flashback]

It happens or it doesn't.

When you're out the back of Moore street, you've no cash, and you need to pay for your gear somehow, you've got very little choice in the matter. It's happening.

 

[rettucs]

we need a separate thread to discuss the sexual idiosyncrasies of people we know (but definitely not us ourselves)

 

[seanc]

When you're out the back of Moore street, you've no cash, and you need to pay for your gear somehow, you've got very little choice in the matter.

Wel that sounds like true love mate.
Love of da gear.