If I owned a pub I would... (1 Viewer)

[CinnamonBoy]

Thumped has spoken

 

[Jill Hives]

I don't give a toss about sport so I plan to just hand the remote to whom ever is drinking the most. I'll get the expensive package with the pint glass at the bottom for the ONE telly. That should serve my 10 regulars just dandy.

 

[shower another shower]

My local has the pint glass painted in tipex.

 

[Jill Hives]

My local has the pint glass painted in tipex.

I've seen a few of those. I'd get caught for sure.

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

If you're going to have rugby on then you will need to brush up on the difference between american football and rugby.
You will most certainly be asked.
Have a prepared answer.
Probably good to say you prefer rugger.

 

[therealjohnny]

"I wouldn't know, I'm just a girl..< giggle> " should be the stock response to such questions

 

[Jill Hives]

"I wouldn't know, I'm just a girl..< giggle> " should be the stock response to such questions

Oh yes, and "explain this to me...." Old men love me. Mostly because I've of an age where it's not creepy to flirt but I'm not attached, can take a joke and most importantly give it back.

 

[shower another shower]

Make sure you have a tip box, not a jar. Old men love to say, "here, put this in your box".
also, give a flat pint from time to time so they can say "can I have a bit of head".

 

[dudley]

If you're looking for a manager, I think shower is your man. Pure gold

 

[shower another shower]

I'd thought of taking over a pub/restaurant/hotel in my village, but decided against it because it would have taken me away from my own local.

 

[washingcattle]

I don't give a toss about sport so I plan to just hand the remote to whom ever is drinking the most. I'll get the expensive package with the pint glass at the bottom for the ONE telly. That should serve my 10 regulars just dandy.

So as far as I know, and I could be wrong here you only have to pay for the one package then you can have it on as many TV's as you like.

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

Finches or Club orange/lemon, no Fanta. Don't charge a fortune for the mixers if you're making a rock shandy for the designated driver.

 

[Jill Hives]

Finches or Club orange/lemon, no Fanta. Don't charge a fortune for the mixers if you're making a rock shandy for the designated driver.

Designated driver always drinks free.

 

[Unicron]

Please see @washingcattle 's views on rugby and reconsider. Your target market is not a bunch of Dublin southside wankers. I remember after "we" almost beat New Zealand a few months ago, RTE were getting the fans' reaction after from those who were leaving the stadium.
A 30-something year old blonde girl said she'd never been to an Ireland match before but was gutted. Says it all.

Tipp near Limerick is unexpected rugby country.

 

[Unicron]

This is the best thread on Thumped in ages. Thanks @pete and @Jill Hives .

I've been in Ireland with the folks for the last few weeks and spending a fair bit of time in the only local pub (or thing of any kind) that there is here, and what I have observed is:

-almost everything everyone else said.

Kegs must be kept as close as possible to the taps. And when necessary, you should be able to change a keg in less than 5 minutes, as should all your staff.

Like everything else, you'll get 80% of your business from 20% of your customers. They'll be the lads that'll pop in for three pints on a Tuesday, be perfect customers, and leave by ten o'clock. Occasionally they'll stay until 3am for no particular reason. They are your bread and butter, even if some of them are total pricks sometimes.

The locals like current events, so you can just have Prime Time on the ONE television. No need for Sky Sports etc.
Have a projector and screen thing in the lounge for the big sporting events.

Have a pool table and a dartboard. Have house rules for pool.
Have house rules for Poker. Don't have people betting their cars and stuff on poker nights.

That being said, get to know your local bookie. You may be asked to place bets for people.

Be prepared to drive people home. You're already on that. But it is a really good idea and a good thing to do.

Ham and cheese toasties are awesome.

Craft beers are great, but I guess you'll have a fairly conservative clientele, at least at first. It's a great idea like, I'd like you to do it and I'd like for it to work out for you.

Charge a good mark-up on carry out prices. €3 a can after 10pm is fair.

Clean toilets. It's not that hard to do.

Print t-shirts with your pub name and the area it's in, so at xmas time when the diaspora come back and get hammered you can sell them a t-shirt. So they have something to take back to London/Sydney/Montreal and say "See this? This is my local pub, a fuckin' proper local pub". And then your pub will become internationally renowned.

Know how to pour a pint, and into which glass. That might seem like common sense, but I've been living in London.

Have an 84" screen with a constant live update of what's happening on Thumped in every room, nook and toilet.

Classic seanc

 

[Unicron]

So as far as I know, and I could be wrong here you only have to pay for the one package then you can have it on as many TV's as you like.

Yeah, as far as I know they charge based on the size/capacity of the pub. Which really twists the knife on my local GAA because Charlie McCreevy gave them loads of money to build a lovely spacious new clubhouse but there's hardly ever anyone in there.

 

[Jill Hives]

My point was for the 10 people that might be in the pub, more than one telly is unnecessary.

 

[seanc]

Agree with some of that but come on seriously


What is this Russia ? You're making a huge mistake there, Celtic on one screen Liverpool/United/Arsenal/Chelski/City who ever is on at the same time, on another during the CL. In summer GAA on one and the summer football tournaments on the other or Tennis during Wimbledon, Olympics etc then MOTD and Boxing on the saturday (Rugby can go fuck itself )but anything less than 2 is guaranteeing you an evening of walk outs and "Are you not showin' de rugby ?"

4 TVs is recommended.




Fuck that, get into your car with a piss head who you barely know and drive them to a place where you don't know the directions to or from ?

No, do not do that.



Fuck craft beer it's overpriced slop and most of them are too heavy on the stomach, be prepared to sell 1 or 2 and then have the consumer fuck off to the chipper. Sell watery lager, stout, cider and spirits. Don't over think it.



Extortion. I'd buy one to throw through your window.



I know right ? Being a bar man in Ireland is a calling, like medicine or the priesthood.

In London it's what you do while you wait to be discovered.

Yeah well I've discovered all bar staff are in London are useless cunts where's my fucking sit com ?

The general thrust of my wine fuelled post was to know you're regulars, I guess.

It's not in Russia no, but my local is in the Socialist Roscommunist Republic.

Lookit, it's just my experience of my local, I'm not saying it's the best pub in the world. But it is my local, and therefore it is the best in the world.

 

[rettucs]

classic seanc

 

[Jim Daniels]

Only serve drinks in the appropriate glass.
In fact, avoid branded glasses completely if possible.

None of this!