quotes (1 Viewer)

[BC]

"When our backs are against the wall, we shall turn and fight." - John Major

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" - Christina Aguilera

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last words:

"I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's a record..." - Dylan Thomas

"oh my god!" - Mahatma Ghandi

 

[Squiggle]

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright (1876-1944)


"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything." - Friedrich Nietzsche

 

[flashback]

My name is Linus, and I am your god.

Linus Torvalds

 

[Lord Damian]

"Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
- Yogi Berra

 

[sexypornolady]

"Freedom has a scent like the top of a new born babies shit."

Amazing Bono

 

[wild_cat]

I thought this was funny.

"the old woman sneezed and the Kaiser ran away" -Paul Kruger

It was about the queen of England giving out to Wilhelm for doing something very stupid.

 

[snakybus]

"Soft day"

- a farmer I met on the road one day

 

[La La]

"Information is moving -- you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007

 

[broken arm]

"We'd like to do a song, ladies and gentlemen, about how love kind of disappears after about 3 days... and you sort of like think 'I kind of like you but maybe it's not really working'. You decide that you'll lock yourself away in a room and fill yourself with as many drugs as you can. And you do this, ladies and gentlemen, and you have such a good time that you forget that you don't actually love them anymore and it doesn't matter. You're walking along one day, and because you're sort of like this indie rocker, you sort of like hear this Weezer song that says 'Oooh I look like Buddy Holly and she's Mary Tyler Moore' and you think you're Buddy Holly and she's Mary Tyler Moore and you kind of like start to think 'That's pretty cool.' Then you kind of look in the window of the shop that you're going into to buy some bread and you realize that you are actually ... Burt Reynolds ... and she's Sally Fields ... and you've been cast in Smokey and the Bandit 98. You have a toupee... and she's not The Flying Nun anymore. So that's kind of bummed you out and you think 'We really didn't find love, but we had a lot of fun on the drugs ... but if it's going to make me look like Burt Reynolds and you look like Sally Fields maybe we have to look at doing something else or maybe take another drug that makes us feel, like, kind of better than that.' But you know in this time, ladies and gentlemen, you know in this time that ... Everything Is Fucked."


warren ellis

 

[La La]

"We'd like to do a song, ladies and gentlemen, about how love kind of disappears after about 3 days... and you sort of like think 'I kind of like you but maybe it's not really working'. You decide that you'll lock yourself away in a room and fill yourself with as many drugs as you can. And you do this, ladies and gentlemen, and you have such a good time that you forget that you don't actually love them anymore and it doesn't matter. You're walking along one day, and because you're sort of like this indie rocker, you sort of like hear this Weezer song that says 'Oooh I look like Buddy Holly and she's Mary Tyler Moore' and you think you're Buddy Holly and she's Mary Tyler Moore and you kind of like start to think 'That's pretty cool.' Then you kind of look in the window of the shop that you're going into to buy some bread and you realize that you are actually ... Burt Reynolds ... and she's Sally Fields ... and you've been cast in Smokey and the Bandit 98. You have a toupee... and she's not The Flying Nun anymore. So that's kind of bummed you out and you think 'We really didn't find love, but we had a lot of fun on the drugs ... but if it's going to make me look like Burt Reynolds and you look like Sally Fields maybe we have to look at doing something else or maybe take another drug that makes us feel, like, kind of better than that.' But you know in this time, ladies and gentlemen, you know in this time that ... Everything Is Fucked."


warren ellis

he's a legend. and everything's fucked is also my fave dirty three song ever. .|..|

 

[BC]

"Information is moving -- you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007

bush almost seems too easy, until a brief reading over his more stupid statements reveals: so much comedy gold in there, albeit with a remarkably depressing element to them.
my personal favourite of his has to be "it's time for the planet earth to join the solar system."

prince philip is another treasury of objectionable hilarity:
"If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."

 

[Pat Pockets]

prince philip is another treasury of objectionable hilarity:
"If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."

Yeah he's full of unbelievable shit.

Wikipedia has a load of quotes from him
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Phillip

 

[flashback]

prince philip is another treasury of objectionable hilarity:
"If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."

Totally.
He must never have been to Korea.


Oh man. Ha ha ha ha. If it swims and is not a submarine. The fucking state of him. It's like an insight into these people's minds.... their whole life must be like some Aphex Twin video.

 

[flashback]

The secret of life is honesty, and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

 

[shidheat]

"We'd like to do a song, ladies and gentlemen, about how love kind of disappears after about 3 days... and you sort of like think 'I kind of like you but maybe it's not really working'. You decide that you'll lock yourself away in a room and fill yourself with as many drugs as you can. And you do this, ladies and gentlemen, and you have such a good time that you forget that you don't actually love them anymore and it doesn't matter. You're walking along one day, and because you're sort of like this indie rocker, you sort of like hear this Weezer song that says 'Oooh I look like Buddy Holly and she's Mary Tyler Moore' and you think you're Buddy Holly and she's Mary Tyler Moore and you kind of like start to think 'That's pretty cool.' Then you kind of look in the window of the shop that you're going into to buy some bread and you realize that you are actually ... Burt Reynolds ... and she's Sally Fields ... and you've been cast in Smokey and the Bandit 98. You have a toupee... and she's not The Flying Nun anymore. So that's kind of bummed you out and you think 'We really didn't find love, but we had a lot of fun on the drugs ... but if it's going to make me look like Burt Reynolds and you look like Sally Fields maybe we have to look at doing something else or maybe take another drug that makes us feel, like, kind of better than that.' But you know in this time, ladies and gentlemen, you know in this time that ... Everything Is Fucked."


warren ellis

that's great. i love those rants

 

[Doctor Muscles]

"Civilization will not attain perfection until the last stone from the last church falls on the last priest."

Emile Zola

 

[magicbastarder]

"I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world."

muhammad ali.

 

[flashback]

"Drop your cocks and grab your socks."

Unattributed.

 

[egg_]

"I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world."

muhammad ali.

That's amazing. What a cool guy that fecker is

 

[cyclotron]

[SIZE=-1]"The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it"​

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[/SIZE]
-James Agate