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7 yo, while Morning Ireland was talking about 'covfefe': "Can I follow Trump on Twitter?"

Got the report card for the five year olds first year in school today. There's a box where they comment on how they feel about their learning this year. "I think I am really good at everything." Top marks for humility anyway.

Ok, that's good. I was thinking I nice gentle way of explaining it would be to show him some snuff porn, but I reckon this will probably be better.

"Dada, I'm not ever going to die am I?" Shite. That question was immediately follwed visitors walking into the house so I actually didn't have to answer it. Not sure what I would have said as it caught me totally off guard. He's 4, I don't want t bullshit him, but I don't want to lie either...

Was explaining to the young lad that all the silly posters with faces will be disappearing from the poles over the next few days. He sits there thinking for a sec, then "Will they be going into space?" He has the right idea anyway.

DAMN YOU FACEBOOK!!!!

4 year old, singing to himself; "Mister black man! Everybody's scared of mr black man! Becuase mr black man is so scarey!" He had created a a totally black lego man, who was the bad guy is his game. Gave me a fright though.

In there car on the way to playschool this morning: "Christmas was very long wasn't it?"

"WWWWWAAAAAAAAA!!!!" All. Fucking. Night. In fairness, the poor little guy has 4 mollars coming through. I'd say it's the anit-craic.

"Oh fuck, where's the other drum?" First use of the F word. Quite apt too. I blame his mother.

I knew there was a reason Dr. Barb was so smart.

I'm with you on that one LBC.

Dom walks into the bedroom this morning with a fist over each eye. Me: Hey Dom, what are you doing? Dom: Looking through my anockulers (binoculars) Me: What do you see? Dom: A monster smelling a dragon. Me: Really? Dom: Yeah, its pretty weird.

Pointing to the lady at the cash register in Lild: "She's like Gib! But where are her records?"

While working from home today. Boy - "Dada, what you doing?" Me - "Trying to do a bit of work." Boy, peering at the laptop - "That doesn't look very inneresting."

"Time to brush you're teeth buddy!" "No!" "What way should I vote buddy?" "No!"

While lying in bed, crying, after the lights were turned out: "Daddy's gone rocking with his friends" I may be in too many bands.

in the mornings when we go in and get the boy, he says. "open the curtains!" but it tends to come out like 'open the cunts!'.

My first post of substance in this this thread! wife - what socks would you like to wear today? boy - blue socks! like a tiger!

gold.