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Yeah it's only an Irish thing afaik - at least the Brits didn't understand it when I lived there in the 90s

fwiw she's only on the good list because of some creating accounting on the part of the elves

My brother's eldest is doing her communion this year. She's got her first confession soon, and was asking the her da what it was all about. Him: It's where you go and tell God about your sins Her: What's a sin? Him: It's when you something bad. Her: I never do anything bad! I'm on the good...

Meh. I have the communist manifesto, a cathecism, the book of mormon, Mao's little red book, Dianetics, and various other suspect shit on my bookshelves. Doesn't mean anything, except for that I'm curious

That was 2007. Now it's

What does "absolute snoot" mean?

"I want to be an actor when I grow up" (facepalm)

My brother did that only recently, and he just turned 37

Enid Blyton is class. The Famous Five books are far and away the best chapter-books I have ever seen for a 7 year old

Heather's demands are becoming increasingly bizarre. Latest: 1) sleeping under a pile of cushions instead of blankets 2) insisting that we write The Gruffalo out by hand on a piece of paper and read from that, instead of reading from the actual book

Heather: "Do you know James?" Me: "No. Who's James?" Heather: "He's in little school." Me. "OK. What does he look like?" Heather: "He has one head, two of eyes and plenty of teeth"

"I'M VERY GOOD AT BEING LOUD"

Isabelle: "Dad, do numbers ever end?" Heather: "Can I do a wee on the carpet?"

Haha! "He said the holy mary backwards. It's very hard to say, but he said it"

... and then she started asking me about how the very first "alive" things came about. And wanted me to make her a bulletproof mask so she wouldn't get killed while fighting crime

"Why are things real?" Trying to take this girl's questions seriously and answer them in a way she can (kinda) understand is getting more and more challenging

"Dad, you know the way people make up names for animals? Like 'giraffe' and 'cat' and stuff? Well, how come there's a name for dinosaurs even though there were no people when there were dinosaurs?" And then " ... so maybe 'dinosaur' isn't the right name for them at all!"

"What's heaven, mam?" "Well, some people think that after you die you go and live with god someplace, and that's heaven." "Oh. Ok. I thought heaven was kind of like a grave."

"School's not really what I expected - I thought it would be better than this"

(with toy stethoscope) Daddy, you're very sick. Your heart should be going "beat beat" but it's going "PLONK PLONK"