Garda goes mintal for sweets (1 Viewer)

[Lefty Frizzell]

my favourite "on another note" [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
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BURNING WHEELCHAIR PUT OUT BY BREAST MILK

This story took place on a statten island bus two months ago and involves a few pesky kids, a disabled man in a wheelchair, a brave woman and the milk from her kegs.
So it appears one of the kids came across this guy in a wheelchair on the bus in question and thought it would be funny to discreetly set fire to the wheelchair. (a cop later descibed this kid as a 'regular Jimmy Kimmel')

So the kids scarper and the modest blaze on the chair starts to gather momentum and a onlooking 'mother has-been' passenger put out the fire with milk from her breasts.

Now. Heres the let down. The breast milk was in a bottle and was not applied to the inferno al fresco as we all would have hoped.

Completely true.

 

[ms.b.haven]

no i was walking along shop street on a saturday night and the next thing i know i felt a pleasurable jab between my legs and realised it was his baton.

was that how you met your boyfriend?

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

no i was walking along shop street on a saturday night and the next thing i know i felt a pleasurable jab between my legs and realised it was his baton.

So does he walk the beat or what?

If so, wheres his beat?

 

[glen]

There must be a jelly bean vendor in there!

"Give us our fuckin johnnys
- we all want rides in each udders holes now"

 

[Bag'o'cans]

..

 

[plug]

no i was walking along shop street on a saturday night and the next thing i know i felt a pleasurable jab between my legs and realised it was his baton.

 

[ICUH8N]

Someone needs to send that jelly bean machine a link to that "know your rights" file -The one that advises you to always give your name and address if requested by a Garda.

Name? "Jelly Bean Dispenser 37B, Guard"
Address? "front of the Londis, Cashel Road, Guard"

 

[ms.b.haven]

he works in galway, millstreet. you should go in and say hello, he'd be delighted

So does he walk the beat or what?

If so, wheres his beat?

 

[plug]

 

[frambosenshmak]

Someone needs to send that jelly bean machine a link to that "know your rights" file -The one that advises you to always give your name and address if requested by a Garda.

Name? "Jelly Bean Dispenser 37B, Guard"
Address? "front of the Londis, Cashel Road, Guard"

porche porSHA

guard GarDA

enough of your sasanach speak there boyo or i'll get na nnnnnnardai (said in rte news presenter speak for gardai) round for tea and battering!baggyyyy

 

[ICUH8N]

I don't speak Irish, alas.
And where I come from, it's pronounced porSCHE

If only I had more respect for this country's cultural heritage...

 

[Dwight]

I bet he called the jelly bean machine a "pup" too.

 

[evil bandit]

Said jelly bean machine is a choking hazard to police men and has been know to blare the following at high volumes...

COP KILLER! YEAH!

I got my black shirt on.
I got my black gloves on.
I got my ski mask on.
This shit's been too long.
I got my twelve gauge sawed off.
I got my headlights turned off.
I'm 'bout to bust some shots off.
I'm 'bout to dust some cops off.

I'm a COP KILLER, better you than me.
COP KILLER, fuck police brutality!
COP KILLER, I know your family's grieving,
(FUCK 'EM!)
COP KILLER, but tonight we get even, ha ha.

I got my brain on hype.
Tonight'll be your night.
I got this long-assed knife.
and your neck looks just right.
My adrenaline's pumpin'.
I got my stereo bumpin'.
I'm 'bout to kill me somethin'.
A pig stopped me for nuthin'!

COP KILLER, better you than me.
COP KILLER, fuck police brutality!
COP KILLER, I know your momma's grieving,
(FUCK HER!)
COP KILLER, but tonight we get even, yeah!

DIE, DIE, DIE PIG, DIE!

FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!

FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!
Yeah!

COP KILLER, better you than me.
I'm a COP KILLER, fuck police brutality!
COP KILLER, I know your family's grieving,
(FUCK 'EM!)
COP KILLER, but tonight we get even, ha ha ha ha, yeah!

FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!

FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!
FUCK THE POLICE!
Break it down.

FUCK THE POLICE, yeah!
FUCK THE POLICE, for Darryl Gates.
FUCK THE POLICE, for Rodney King.
FUCK THE POLICE, for my dead homies.
FUCK THE POLICE, for your freedom.
FUCK THE POLICE, don't be a pussy.
FUCK THE POLICE, have some muthafuckin' courage.
FUCK THE POLICE, sing along.

COP KILLER!
COP KILLER!
COP KILLER!
COP KILLER!

COP KILLER! Whaddyou wanna be when you grow up?
COP KILLER! Good choice.
COP KILLER! I'm a muthafuckin'
COP KILLER!

COP KILLER, better you than me.
COP KILLER, fuck police brutality!
COP KILLER, I know your momma's grieving,
(FUCK HER!)
COP KILLER, but tonight we get even!

 

[frambosenshmak]

"aw c'mon roj it'll be fun"
"fun! FUN! I'm getting too old for this jellybean sh*t"

i hope they do to the guys desk with jellybeans what they did to inspector murtagh when his daughter was seen in the condom advert. god i love that film.....

 

[Arthur Peanut]

my favourite "on another note" follow on in the same story on rte

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In a separate incident, a garda in north Dublin is under investigation after he is alleged to have picked up a woman in an official garda van while on duty and took her for a walk on Dollymount Strand.


i think thats hilarious.



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Aw That's cute, the instruments of the state should be used to promote love more often.

 

[old]

Hi John. For my work I have been going through some of your visa receipts.
Exciting, eh?

 

[Arthur Peanut]

Hi John. For my work I have been going through some of your visa receipts.
Exciting, eh?

If I didn't know who you were I'd be freaked out by that!!

How are things?

 

[freddienonose]

If I didn't know who you were I'd be freaked out by that!!

How are things?

Ah, John!

Last time I saw you you'd lapsed into unconsciousness while wearing some rather fetching headgear in a flat in Christchurch...