Why men behave like pigs (1 Viewer)

egg_

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Also I don't ever remember being a woman being lecherous towards me. I'm feeling disappointed with my life now. Someone flirted with me in my local just before Christmas, and it hadn't happened in so long (apart from with Mrs. egg_ like) that I was buzzing for about a week afterwards
 

Cornu Ammonis

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I am in the middle of teaching a course on genetics and behaviour to undergrads. One of the main points I make is that generally it is very hard to say "This genetic profile gives you this behavioural profile" - i.e. there's no gay gene, no intelligence gene, no autism gene, no "being a prick" gene. But I immediately follow it up with the point that there are some obvious, reproducible and undeniable effects of genetics on behaviour. The number one predictor of violent behaviour in humans (and mammals more generally), more than anything, is the presence or absence of a Y chromosome. Culture, upbringing, nationality, class, etc. are drops in the ocean compared to it.
 

hermie

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I am in the middle of teaching a course on genetics and behaviour to undergrads. One of the main points I make is that generally it is very hard to say "This genetic profile gives you this behavioural profile" - i.e. there's no gay gene, no intelligence gene, no autism gene, no "being a prick" gene. But I immediately follow it up with the point that there are some obvious, reproducible and undeniable effects of genetics on behaviour. The number one predictor of violent behaviour in humans (and mammals more generally), more than anything, is the presence or absence of a Y chromosome. Culture, upbringing, nationality, class, etc. are drops in the ocean compared to it.
Hardly surprising but interesting nonetheless. I think it's important to accept that and have an outlet for it; whether it be going to hardcore punk shows or playing a violent sport. I think Lili made the point about bottling things up and then they come out in bad ways. I worked in music venues for years and you'd always have fights at the Aslan concert. Never had a single problem with a goth in my life, they're invariably sweethearts. Anyone who says they won't listen to something "because it's too depressing" always triggers alarm bells for me.
 

jonah

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Honestly, I wrote a lot of very long and angry responses to a lot of posts in this thread, and I am 100% not bothered anymore. Jonah out.
 

pissypants

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So, nature/nurture? We won't solve it in this thread of course, but hey conversations are good.
Surely this is all to do with how men are brought up - at least in my generation (x) we were still brought up to believe that women were weak and needed to be protected. You've got to imagine that these dickheads in the pub are feeling inferior to the women they are interacting with (or even in general) and so (taking any sexual interest out of the equation in this theoretical example) feel the need to lash out or assert dominance / superiority. I'd put it sort of in the same box as people who rag on about "the 'aul ball and chain" or "her indoors". It's fucking sad. Probably the person you're supposed to love most in the world, but you feel the need to put them down, or publicise that you've "escaped" with "the lads".
 

nuke terrorist

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Honestly, I wrote a lot of very long and angry responses to a lot of posts in this thread, and I am 100% not bothered anymore. Jonah out.
personally i would be very interested to hear what you think and would
encourage you to have your say.
i wrote a lengthy post on the previous page and no one said anything negative,
perhaps surprisingly.
 

sleepy

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Honestly, I wrote a lot of very long and angry responses to a lot of posts in this thread, and I am 100% not bothered anymore. Jonah out.
personally i would be very interested to hear what you think and would
encourage you to have your say.
i wrote a lengthy post on the previous page and no one said anything negative,
perhaps surprisingly.
Same here.
 

nuke terrorist

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it is a universal human tactic to move a debate from an area where
you go from being in a weaker position to one where you hold the
moral high ground.
there is probably a name for this.
it's happened a lot on this thread.

i gave up working due to mental illness when i was 19 and
have never been in a romantic relationship.
bearing this in mind it's not too surprising that i've never any cause
to have problems with women as an adult.
i have a life i'm happy with, everyone treats me well and i reciprocate this.

being lucky to be in this position of having the right to be a loner,
it only makes the NORMAL Irish upbringing i had 70-90's look increasingly bad.

i would never think of treating anyone with the disrespect we experienced.
i didn't and still don't have the coping skills to let this go.
i'm older than my parents generation where back in the eighties now.
as i said the fact i've been happy for a long time means i haven't
much else to be upset about.
but i'm not going to be OK this ever.

to be clear i'm talking about :
- being corporal punishment (slapping at school and at home)
- school in general,
- religion (no longer too upset about this),
- being treated in a way an adult wouldn't /double standards
(if you voiced your opinion mostly school, you could be told off or
even slapped for that / rules being ignored by teachers)
- i rarely saw an adult say 'sorry' to a child,

this level of authority as we now know is dangerous.
i didn't like being a child !
maybe it's just being a parent is an anathema to me.

i'd say my parents don't think there was institutional problems with
irish education back then or now.
this still damages my relationship with them.

for the record i get on with parents well for the last 25 years

but i just want there to be some discourse on this.
people seem think this wasn't much of a problem. a lot of this still continues.
before the likes of Childline there was little recourse for kids.
if your teacher was a bully - hard luck.
an adult has more power than a child.

long before i heard of MeToo i had since the early 90's read up to 150
accounts of sexual abuse ranging from harassment to rape written just
by women alone.
just yesterday a friend of mine in her 60's told me of being groped a
policeman 40 years ago. this was third time she had mentioned something
like this happening to her just in passing.
all the victims of sexual crime i know are women. including someone
who was beaten unconscious by a stranger in her own house (he got 8 years).

the things i've earlier mentioned aren't remotely comparable with sexual violence.

i say 'Sorry' to people for most minor of things about 5 times a day.
i believe you treat people well, always, as your staring point.
calling people out (including me of course) is always good practice.
no one should have immunity from this.
i welcome criticism, it might make me a better person.

a lot of points made on this thread are valid.
but overall maybe we missing the bigger issues.
a lot of women reading this must have suffered discrimination and sexual abuse.

as a male who opted out of large parts of adult life, i'm very privileged i don't
have to deal with this.
 
Last edited:

Squiggle

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I remember a conversation, maybe 10 years ago, after a gig. There were a fairly large group of us from this forum hanging out chatting. Somehow the conversation came around to sexual harrassment/assault and one of the guys said he didn't know any women who had been victims. Then he heard from each woman in the group that all of us had been assaulted at some point in our lives, most of us more than once and some of the attacks very serious... still he couldn't believe it. Somehow he felt that we were outliers, that it was the fact that we went to gigs, or walked home alone at night, or hadn't got boyfriends, or something WE did that led to us being assaulted. Still he was confident that we were in the minority. None of us were surprised to find we'd all been victimised, because I don't know a single woman who hasn't been attacked at some point.

Flashback's superglutes seem to attract an unusual degree of attention for a guy, so he might have some comprehension of what it's like, but I don't think the average man can ever fully appreciate the relentlesss onslaught of innuendo, unwanted physical contact, threats of violence etc that most women deal with from complete strangers from a very early age.

Sure, there are lots of nice men out there who treat everyone with respect, but in the wrong company lots of them are just as likely to behave like an asshole as the "toxic" males.

Some of your stories confirm that women are adopting the behaviours they've experienced and using them in their own pursuit of the opposite sex, and that's all kinds of messed up.

There is never a good excuse for treating other people disrespectfully.
 

ernesto

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Well this thread took an unexpected turn

FWIW I don't think a woman has ever been mean to me, bar the usual teenage humiliations.
you were been lucky enough to settle with your first love of your life.
youd have probably experienced more meanness / bad experiences with a bigger variety being single / not single etc
 

Squiggle

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... the relentlesss onslaught of innuendo, unwanted physical contact, threats of violence etc that most women deal with from complete strangers from a very early age.
and family members, and teachers in school, and... but it's the complete strangers we can be truly confident we're NOT to blame for... and that's how you start to think. I spent most of my thinnest years wearing baggy jumpers and jeans to hide my figure in an effort to stop attracting pervy comments.
 

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