unwanted contact with ex's (1 Viewer)

Hair Iron Madin

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smallbrownbear said:
so what now? well i guess that's what i'm trying to decide.
1. do i contact him to tell him again, that i don't want any contact
and this way risk opening up a bigger can o worms
2. or do i just keep track of his contact and maybe take the legal route

ring his parents and let him know that this is going on. If he contacted yours pretending to be someone else then be open with his parents and tell them its not on. Nothing like mamma giving you a grown up ass wooping.

If the man is desperate to keep this up after ten years then a letter sent to him expressing the fact that you will pursue means to let authorities know what is going on if he doesnt accept the fact things cannot be put back the way they were and you wish no further contact from him.

If he wanted to clear something up then he surely would have made that clear by now so if he cant construct what he wants to say into a sentence after ten years then you need to treat this guy as someone who will try his utmost to meet up with you in person again. Irelands too small a place for this grief.

lots of people go a little psycho after heartfelt breakups but not ten years of grief.
 

smallbrownbear

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he wants contact plain and simple. there have been various reasons forwarded to me from him to explain his will to contact. but honestly none of them hold water and some of them are just so outlandlish and incredible. he's beyond the bounds of reason. and he's just so hell bent on getting back under the radar at this stage.

he know's i don't want him to contact me. he even states this in emails. but i know in all truth there needs to be contact made from an authoritive source [definitely not me]to firmly assert conclusively that i want no contact. some of you kindly sent on details to me via PM of state and service agencies which deal with this type of thing, so i'll try these routes. if they don't work, yes it will be legal action, but only as last resort.
 

vermilliona

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Change your number and tell him if he doesnt stop you'll report him to the Guards. If he doesnt stop, actually report it to the Guards. They thankfully take these things alot more seriously these days. Keep a record of when he contacts you and get a new sim so you can keep the old one as evidence
 

La La

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Change your number and tell him if he doesnt stop you'll report him to the Guards. If he doesnt stop, actually report it to the Guards. They thankfully take these things alot more seriously these days. Keep a record of when he contacts you and get a new sim so you can keep the old one as evidence

this thread was started almost a year ago - i'd like to think the problem is sorted by now?

-anyway, what happened smallbrownbear?
 

smallbrownbear

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it all came to a head last easter and i firmly let him know [in writing] i did not want any contact with him. after one or two more dodgy attempts at connecting with me, which i have duly ignored, this seems to have worked.

since then, i've heard from a reliable type, that the guy has moved to near where i live [though i'm sure this is coincidence]. thing is, i feel a lot more resilient, and i hope i'm better prepared for bumping into him.
 

jane

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it all came to a head last easter and i firmly let him know [in writing] i did not want any contact with him. after one or two more dodgy attempts at connecting with me, which i have duly ignored, this seems to have worked.

since then, i've heard from a reliable type, that the guy has moved to near where i live [though i'm sure this is coincidence]. thing is, i feel a lot more resilient, and i hope i'm better prepared for bumping into him.

Glad you're okay, smallbrownbear! It all sounded pretty scary.
 

smallbrownbear

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ahhh shux, thanks janey mackers
twas well scary last year - looking back at my email i can see how freaked out i had become over it all. it was keeping me awake nights and i'd got to the stage where i was screening calls in work and altering my routes to and from work etc. i'm a VERY sensible and private type, and i'm no alarmist by any means. the email on thumped was me at my wits end trying to get other objective perspectives so i could benchmark things. i didn't want to go into too much detail on the board so the info i gave was tip of the ice berg stuff really, much more serious incidents had happened. it helped that other people pm'ed me and let me know that i wasn't alone in this. worryingly, some people had much more frightening stories to tell me.
 

jane

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ahhh shux, thanks janey mackers
twas well scary last year - looking back at my email i can see how freaked out i had become over it all. it was keeping me awake nights and i'd got to the stage where i was screening calls in work and altering my routes to and from work etc. i'm a VERY sensible and private type, and i'm no alarmist by any means. the email on thumped was me at my wits end trying to get other objective perspectives so i could benchmark things. i didn't want to go into too much detail on the board so the info i gave was tip of the ice berg stuff really, much more serious incidents had happened. it helped that other people pm'ed me and let me know that i wasn't alone in this. worryingly, some people had much more frightening stories to tell me.

That's the sense that I got, though, that you were trying to remain calm in a situation that was much scarier than you could say on the internet, or even maybe to people you know in 'real life'. Very often people find it difficult to believe that these situations are real and that they happen to normal people who never asked to be sucked into them, and this can make an already horrible situation feel even worse. I'm glad Thumped could be some comfort for you.
 

theweeyin

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That's the sense that I got, though, that you were trying to remain calm in a situation that was much scarier than you could say on the internet, or even maybe to people you know in 'real life'. Very often people find it difficult to believe that these situations are real and that they happen to normal people who never asked to be sucked into them, and this can make an already horrible situation feel even worse. I'm glad Thumped could be some comfort for you.


Thumped Rulez .|..|
 

smallbrownbear

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indeedy!
2006 was a crap year for me and thumped proved a source of solace
i took comfort in the kindness of strangers

clap yourselves on the back OR alternatvely offer it up for the holy souls

SBB
 

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