THUMPED FAN FICTION (1 Viewer)

[nooleen]

wbbhjixhh kbuxcklwes so tyou use? first, seconss oer thtgiureds?

 

[Froog]

s8metimees ii user myy forehheadd#'..#

 

[Lili Marlene]

haha, my post is at -2

SORI GUYZ

 

[Pantone247]

PETE adjusted his thin framed spectecales as the blue glow of 32 monitors aranged in a wall refelct back in his glasses, the dry air created by the 22 Dell PCs made his cracked lips stick and smack as he sat and watched, and watched. each monitor dispayed a different thread on the board he called THUMPED and each one was constantly being update be the power pentium processors to keep PETE abreast of the movements and actions of every single sad soul who has slipped slientily into his silicon ship of sadness

 

[Jill Hives]

Heads. The coin landed heads up. Ernesto patted down his leather coat searching for his phone to dial the number. 086-564-4464. A sultry woman's voice was on the other end. "Jogging. Jogging. Jogging. Jogging..." was all she repeated. He looked down at the number on the receipt again 086-JOG-GING. He frantically tried to remember what happened the night previously but it was all still a blur. "Hey Ernesto, what up?" JimmyB shouted as he was approaching from down the lane. Still dazed he replied, "Not much man, gotta smoke?" After the cigarette, they both entered Whelans but Ernesto couldn't get the message out of his head. Jogging. Jogging. Jogging. Jogging. 86-JOG-GING. Nix Jogging! Ernesto began to twitch as the band started to play.

 

[Lili Marlene]

Yours is a bit good for this thread jill, do go on though. You've really captured ernesto well. Maybe i should start a thumped fan fiction criticism thread

 

[Doctor Muscles]

The state pathologist, Dr Marie Cassidy, groaned as the harsh fluorescent light reflected off the pristine white tiles and into her eyes. She had a steaming hangover and the morgue was no place to be trying to sleep it off at 7AM.
She was woken from her reverie by the entrance of her well built boss, Dr Jarlath Muscles. He tutted in her direction. "Night on the Lash was it, Marie?"
"Ach aye, Hibs were playing, so I went doon the pub for a few bevvies"
Jarlath looked slightly aghast at his subordinate's lack of professionalism. "Dr Harbison would turn in his grave" he spat.
"What did you do last night if you're so special?"
Dr Muscles gave a little smile. "I solved the Edgeman case, that scumbag's going down for a long time"
Dr Cassidy's eyes widened, her mouth agape at what she had just heard.
"Don't look so surprised Marie, we're pathologists. Solving double homicides is what we do"
There was a pregnant pause
"...and do autopsies and shit."

 

[ernesto]

Heads. The coin landed heads up. Ernesto patted down his leather coat searching for his phone to dial the number. 086-564-4464. A sultry woman's voice was on the other end. "Jogging. Jogging. Jogging. Jogging..." was all she repeated. He looked down at the number on the receipt again 086-JOG-GING. He frantically tried to remember what happened the night previously but it was all still a blur. "Hey Ernesto, what up?" JimmyB shouted as he was approaching from down the lane. Still dazed he replied, "Not much man, gotta smoke?" After the cigarette, they both entered Whelans but Ernesto couldn't get the message out of his head. Jogging. Jogging. Jogging. Jogging. 86-JOG-GING. Nix Jogging! Ernesto began to twitch as the band started to play.

if this happens in a few hours im going to freak out

edit: ah, nope, it cant, JimmB went to london this morning!

 

[cpr]

Vegetarian and Guardian reader CPR approves of the Snakybus tribute.

 

[ernesto]

He stood still even though the pedestrian light had turned green. Ernesto, rubbed his tired eyes as he stepped off the curb heading towards Whelans. Momentarily startled by the horn coming from the car directly in his path, “For Fuck Sake!” the driver yelled but he continued to meander across the road riffling through his pockets. He promptly lit the half smoked cigarette he found, despite the fact; he made a bet with a friend that he could quit. He obviously broke the night before so why bother trying to pretend now? After the first drag of smoke, his other pocket revealed a receipt with a name and number scribbled on it and few coins. What had happened the night before? His recollection of the last evening was blurred.

What time is it, he wondered? Where had the day gone? He recognized a familiar face walking toward him. It was Pad, an acquaintance from many gigs and festivals. “You heading in?” he asked. Remembering of the contents of his pockets he replied, “I’m waiting for my ticket, Jimmyb should be here soon… who’s supporting tonight?” “Jogging, of course, “Pad quickly replied, “see you inside!” Ernesto a bit disappointed, hoping for Bats, waited for JimmyBreeze to show up. He took a coin out of his pocket and thought about the mysterious receipt. He couldn’t make out the name, as it was smudged, but the unknown number was clear as day. Heads, I’ll call it. Tails, I’ll toss it, he thought. Then he flipped the coin.

actually bumped into Pad on the way up to whelans on Friday....... to see jogging.........

i feel like will ferrell in Stranger than Fiction.

 

[Jill Hives]

I write from the heart, yo. Good thing I stopped. The next segment was going to have you jumping on stage and hitting jogging with bats.

 

[mr pharmacist!!!!1]

wow....just...wow

 

[Deleted member 3435]

One day Ernesto bumped into Pad while out jogging. WTF? He exclaimed. I knew this was going to happen. Jill Hives told me this was going to happen. So why weren't you more careful? splurted Pad, picking up his teeth from the gutterspunk and pushing them back into his festering gums. OWEEE! He said. That Smarts! I'm sorry, said Ernesto. You just never expect that someone can actually predict the future. Predict this motherfucker, arsa Pad. Pad pulled a glock 9mm from inside of his white sports sock and thrust it in one single, fluid movement upwards against Ernesto's tightening barse. Pad pulled the trigger and changed the future forever. Ernesto's offspring would never invent the discombobulator now and human kind would be saved. Just then Jill Hives came by. Hi Pad she said. How's it hanging? Wanna see? Pad asked, arching his eyebrows further up his forehead. Sure. With that the pair crossed the road into Whelahans where they rocked muchly to the awesome sounds of the circle jerks. I love it when a plan comes together, said Jill.



this thread is a great way to kill a minute or five!

 

[Jill Hives]

What happened to jimmybreeze?

 

[GO]

Meeting People
By
Gazzywazzy
​

Are you the goddess? Who's the goddess? It's a woman, any woman, all women..

I like "domestic abuse" "sexual abuse" "all sorts of addicts and alcoholics"

It's you Jill isn't it, go on admit it.

[/COLOR]

We've been writing for months and the visit went really well.* I always knew I was a goddess. I'm a little hurt he's taking applications still for back-ups though.

The End.
​

 

[ann post]

PETE adjusted his thin framed spectecales as the blue glow of 32 monitors aranged in a wall refelct back in his glasses, the dry air created by the 22 Dell PCs made his cracked lips stick and smack as he sat and watched, and watched. each monitor dispayed a different thread on the board he called THUMPED and each one was constantly being update be the power pentium processors to keep PETE abreast of the movements and actions of every single sad soul who has slipped slientily into his silicon ship of sadness

in some obscured region of his desk, a frail wasting arm hovered over a small device with the patience of a dog who guards his masters grave. in comparison to the over-developed muscles in his right hand, which had grafted night and day refreshing pages for more then a decade, his left arm could have been the arm of a ghost, if it didn't still have some faint but perceivable glimmer of translucent life. its fore finger extended like a twig into the snow, hovering night and day over a the red ban user button. one would wonder if he wanted to use it, would there even be enough strength in that finger to depress it, and would the mechanism even still work if he did.

 

[mr pharmacist!!!!1]

you're all nuts

 

[chutneyfarmer]

this is the funniest thread in years!

 

[nooleen]

can we have thumped twilight fan fiction? (i do realise that putting 'twilight' and 'fan fiction' side by side is pretty much a tautology)

 

[nooleen]

jill hives stumbled adorably over her own toenail and bled copiously. her blood smelled so delicious that i is john and brian conniffe almost levitated in their ravenous desire to post a dry response.

"you guys, can't we all be kooky and undead in a nice way?" drawled jonah.

green goblin, moving at a speed too fast and sexy to be captured by the human eye, punched jillhives out of the way for her own safety and almost simultaneously was upon i is john and BC like a vengeful demon the colour of skimmed milk, within milliseconds, paradoxically thwarting and saving them from their own predatory disease.

"i must leave you forever to save you from the darkness of my world", he intoned. jill hives glared. and tripped over something.

then everyone turned into werewolves and shit, and took off their shirts.