Things I should have known before now... (2 Viewers)

as referenced in the covid thread - the actual name of the covid vaccine i was being given, Comirnaty. i could see other people looking confused too as they read the info leaflet.
 
just looked him up on wiki there and the main picture is now of him in full on Mussolini mode, wow!

1920px-Eoin_O%27Duffy_1934.jpg


When fash meets farmer.
 
A disposable face mask makes quite a good finger bandage. Wrap it around the affected area, break the elastic ear bit and use that to secure it and create compression. Then I wrapped it in PVC tape, but I guess not everyone has that lying around.

I mean, 16 months ago I wouldn't have had face masks to hand, but now that I do, and I had quite a blood-spurty incident today, it's good to know I have some medical-ish grade bandages in my backpack.
 
Yeah, nothing actually that serious. I sliced a bit of my finger with some cut steel. Literally, all I did was walk past and just brushed against it with my hand. The kind of cut where you're looking at it thinking "wow, that's taking a long time to start bleeding, but when it does...."


Health and Safety is always important kids.
 
I did a thing like that with the steel corner of a box once. I brushed past it with my arm, and it gave me a scrape, about one-inch long. It didn't really bleed at all because it was so shallow, but it's left a scar that looks like I was stabbed there or something.
 


There isn't really a traditional Irish type of cheese.
Cashel Blue is a fairly new thing. Every other type of cheese is an idea imported from elsewhere. I would have thought there'd be some kind of old timey distinctly Irish cheese, but apparently not. And having asked my mum to send over some Calvita recently, while it is particularly Irish, that shit does not count as cheese. Not even to astronauts or Australians.

Please prove me wrong on this.
 
I was hoovering at work today and the hose got blocked.

Co-worker, the boss' son, who's a lovely clever lad went, "Haven't you tried this?"

He undid the hose, rammed the nose bit into the hoover where the tail end would normally go, and it sucked whatever was blocking the hose back out and into the hoover.

I'm left standing there thinking "I've been hoovering since before you were born, shit."
 
Summertime flies bothering you with their intermittent buzzing? Simply make the room dark, and open the door to a brighter room. Hey presto! the flies will leave the room.
 
Yeah, nothing actually that serious. I sliced a bit of my finger with some cut steel. Literally, all I did was walk past and just brushed against it with my hand. The kind of cut where you're looking at it thinking "wow, that's taking a long time to start bleeding, but when it does...."


Health and Safety is always important kids.
If you get a bad spurty cut on your hand you can clamp at the wrist with your other hand, and raise your arms above your head.
Once the blood stops pissing out, ease of the clamp at the wrist and see if the blood start up again. If it doesn't, I'll put myself in a position to allow me to rest it above my head for another few mins and then gently lower it down.
You'll want to be fairly ginger with it for the next while, keeping it up around shoulder height, keep your pulse low if possible, and probably get yourself to a medic.

You can even do the same with your legs, just sit down and prop your leg up above hip level.
 
If you get a bad spurty cut on your hand you can clamp at the wrist with your other hand, and raise your arms above your head.
Once the blood stops pissing out, ease of the clamp at the wrist and see if the blood start up again. If it doesn't, I'll put myself in a position to allow me to rest it above my head for another few mins and then gently lower it down.
You'll want to be fairly ginger with it for the next while, keeping it up around shoulder height, keep your pulse low if possible, and probably get yourself to a medic.

You can even do the same with your legs, just sit down and prop your leg up above hip level.

You're a bit late, I bled to death weeks ago.

Yeah everything you've said is good advice. I am a first aider, which is useful but inconsequential usually. and some people are quite shocked by how blasé me and those like me are when it comes to these things.

The thing is, we're not blasé at all. It's not our first rodeo, another day at the office, es so si que es, get on with it, I AM THE ROADIEEEEE, I've fucked up bigger jobs than yours, etc etc.
 
You're a bit late, I bled to death weeks ago.

Yeah everything you've said is good advice. I am a first aider, which is useful but inconsequential usually. and some people are quite shocked by how blasé me and those like me are when it comes to these things.

The thing is, we're not blasé at all. It's not our first rodeo, another day at the office, es so si que es, get on with it, I AM THE ROADIEEEEE, I've fucked up bigger jobs than yours, etc etc.
First aid is underrated. A lot of people give it the "doing good in the service of others" line, but my reality was most of the things I learned I end up having to use on myself.

Clamping is almost always the man for the big time blood events. I got a serious head wound, blood running off my like hot water, so I did the clampy clampy action, and then eased up 10 minutes later: pissings.
More clamping, ended up having to clamp things closed for probably an hour?

You'd think it shouldn't be quite as effective "just fucking ram it closed, be grand", but clamping is the man.

I've not taken a first aid refresher in more than 10 years... hm. Could probably do with one.
 
my first aid course didn't cover clamping. But yes kids, generally: Less bleeding=better chance of survival.
Stem the bleeding, whatever way you can. That usually means a tourniquet and/or gravity. Don't underestimate gravity.

But clamping though? That's some crazy yankee shit.
 
Andy Samberg is married to Joanna Newsom and has been for years. I'll have to save that for a pub quiz or something.
 

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