Sexism, god help us (2 Viewers)

jonah

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Joined
Apr 22, 2009
Threads
27
Messages
6,079
Do you think it's one of those situations where outrage usually goes towards the wrong person. Some creep follow's you in the street and you're scared and so say nothing and then some guy says "have a nice day" unsolicited and you explode with rage ? Or do you think that they're both the same thing ?

That may seem like a stupid question. It probably is. But I'm not being facetious. Honestly.

I mean men do that all the time, half the time it's why your poor skinny innocent mate gets battered outside pub. Misplaced outrage.
Hmmmmm. I don't know. I think its like... I don't want to sound like a dope, but part of a culture of entitlement, and even though may seem harmless they all come from the same place? the same issue and problem, of feeling like the fact that you may feel its ok or harmless to approach someone in a situation, your feelings aren't paramount. Like, do I, when it comes down to it, think every guy that talks to a girl on the street is wrong for doing so? Not exactly, no.. but I do think, to reference the cartoon 7 posted, that its all coming from a harmful place of feeling like women walk through a male controlled landscape, not just on the streets but on a whole, and that they're open for comment / to engage in that way. We just don't get a lot of control in those situations, so differentiating between why someone is approaching you or the manner in which they're doing it, is less the issue...

Just to say though, I'm not saying that following a woman home and saying "good morning miss" are the same thing, i'm really not, its just that I think all of these varying degrees of situations are coming from a similar harmful place.

i think there's loads of issues in feminist discourse that people are talking about right now, and lots of them perpetrated by genuinely harmless people, and i honestly feel like a lot of it IS because the guy in question just doesn't know better, or hasn't considered that whats important surely, is not always their intention but how it makes the woman feel. the thing is because we deal with it everyday, that one action does become part of a larger picture, so thats how we feel when it happens.

i'm bad at sticking to a train of thought so ive no idea if ive actually answered this at all.
 

washingcattle

Well-Known Member
Contributor
Joined
Dec 15, 2005
Threads
37
Messages
11,458
Location
The only living boy in New Cross
Hmmmmm. I don't know. I think its like... I don't want to sound like a dope, but part of a culture of entitlement, and even though may seem harmless they all come from the same place? the same issue and problem, of feeling like the fact that you may feel its ok or harmless to approach someone in a situation, your feelings aren't paramount. Like, do I, when it comes down to it, think every guy that talks to a girl on the street is wrong for doing so? Not exactly, no.. but I do think, to reference the cartoon 7 posted, that its all coming from a harmful place of feeling like women walk through a male controlled landscape, not just on the streets but on a whole, and that they're open for comment / to engage in that way. We just don't get a lot of control in those situations, so differentiating between why someone is approaching you or the manner in which they're doing it, is less the issue...

Just to say though, I'm not saying that following a woman home and saying "good morning miss" are the same thing, i'm really not, its just that I think all of these varying degrees of situations are coming from a similar harmful place.

i think there's loads of issues in feminist discourse that people are talking about right now, and lots of them perpetrated by genuinely harmless people, and i honestly feel like a lot of it IS because the guy in question just doesn't know better, or hasn't considered that whats important surely, is not always their intention but how it makes the woman feel. the thing is because we deal with it everyday, that one action does become part of a larger picture, so thats how we feel when it happens.

i'm bad at sticking to a train of thought so ive no idea if ive actually answered this at all.
No that's a perfectly fair answer and thank you.
 

nooleen

bad ape
Supporter
Joined
Aug 27, 2002
Threads
361
Messages
22,562
Location
inside a ham
Do you think it's one of those situations where outrage usually goes towards the wrong person. Some creep follow's you in the street and you're scared and so say nothing and then some guy says "have a nice day" unsolicited and you explode with rage ? Or do you think that they're both the same thing ?

That may seem like a stupid question. It probably is. But I'm not being facetious. Honestly.

I mean men do that all the time, half the time it's why your poor skinny innocent mate gets battered outside pub. Misplaced outrage.
it's not that at all. jonah explained it well.
 

Squiggle

Born-again non-smoker
Supporter
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Threads
75
Messages
8,418
Website
www.myspace.com
I think it's a big deal, and I'm pretty sure anyone I know thinks it's a big deal, but maybe I'm wrong, say maybe you were followed down the street and told someone about it and they said "sure what are you making a fuss about".
But that's pretty much what is always said. Every time, with one exception, that it has happened to me it's been a guy I work with, or who is part of a wider circle of friends... so however uncomfortable I was with it, however inappropriate his behaviour the general response was "oh, he was just looking out for you" or "ah, he's a nice guy, sure you could do worse"... and somehow saying "I didn't want him knowing where I live" or "but I don't like him" would make me the weirdo. I'm not talking about guys who offer to walk someone home, and take yes or no for an answer, that's different.

Following a girl home is always creepy, even, or especially, if you think she's in no fit state to make it home alone - if she won't let you walk her then put her in a taxi or get a female friend to go home with her.
 
Last edited:

Cormcolash

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2002
Threads
333
Messages
17,878
Location
THIS IS SPARTA!!!
Website
geocities.com
Following a girl home is always creepy, even, or especially, if you think she's in no fit state to make it home alone - if she won't let you walk her then put her in a taxi or get a female friend to go home with her.
What about the time last year where I was walking home on my own and came upon this girl in the middle of a square who was kind of spiralling around out of her head and barely able to stand up, so I had to find out where she lived (which was difficult) which was only a minute walk away, had to walk her there, had to practically carry her up 3 flights of stairs, had to open her door for her and carry her to her bed and lay her on it, then get some water to make sure she was alright and hopefully wouldn't like stop breathing or some shit during the night, before I got to go home?
That was okay, right?
 

washingcattle

Well-Known Member
Contributor
Joined
Dec 15, 2005
Threads
37
Messages
11,458
Location
The only living boy in New Cross
What about the time last year where I was walking home on my own and came upon this girl in the middle of a square who was kind of spiralling around out of her head and barely able to stand up, so I had to find out where she lived (which was difficult) which was only a minute walk away, had to walk her there, had to practically carry her up 3 flights of stairs, had to open her door for her and carry her to her bed and lay her on it, then get some water to make sure she was alright and hopefully wouldn't like stop breathing or some shit during the night, before I got to go home?
That was okay, right?
Did you tell her to have a nice evening ?
 

egg_

Moderator
Staff member
Supporter
Since 1999
Joined
Nov 15, 1999
Threads
579
Messages
9,866
Location
Where dogs wear hats and birds fly backwards
But that's pretty much what is always said. Every time, with one exception, that it has happened to me it's been a guy I work with, or who is part of a wider circle of friends
Really? Fucking hell :(

FWIW I've realised me being a bit aghast at hearing about this stuff might be taken to imply that I'm disbelieving. That's not what I mean to do at all, I've just literally never come across it before. Mrs. egg_ has never been catcalled (while in Ireland), never followed or groped ... tbh there aren't that many other women in my life, so it hasn't been obvious to me how untypical her experience is
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create a thumped.com account. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

We're listening to...

  • Sister
    Sister
    Angel Olsen
    Sister

Support thumped.com

Support thumped.com and upgrade your account

Upgrade your account now to disable all ads... If we had any... Which we don't right now.

Upgrade now

Latest posts

Trending Threads

Latest threads

Top