Quotes from your child (1 Viewer)

The child told me he's making a collage in school and has entitled it 'Walmart Santa on Ketamine (switched from meth)'. Can't wait to see it.

Ketamine Santa doesn't sound terrible, I could see Santa doing K. I'd say Meth Santa wouldn't be great though, so he seems like he's on the right track.
 
Not a quote but I don't think there's a thread for funny things someone else's kids did

A guy on the radio said he told his kids to pack their most important stuff in case they had to leave in a hurry because of bushfires

The two year old packed some rocks ("they weren't even good rocks") and the four year old packed a framed photo of himself
 
My brother's eldest is doing her communion this year. She's got her first confession soon, and was asking the her da what it was all about.

Him: It's where you go and tell God about your sins
Her: What's a sin?
Him: It's when you something bad.
Her: I never do anything bad! I'm on the good list!
Him: ...
Her: Anyway if I did do anything bad I wouldn't tell God, I'd tell the elves
 
Not a quote but I don't think there's a thread for funny things someone else's kids did

A guy on the radio said he told his kids to pack their most important stuff in case they had to leave in a hurry because of bushfires

The two year old packed some rocks ("they weren't even good rocks") and the four year old packed a framed photo of himself
Once we went on holidays and got the kids to pack. Got to France, youngest daughter had a backpack full of her teddies.
 
My brother's eldest is doing her communion this year. She's got her first confession soon, and was asking the her da what it was all about.

Him: It's where you go and tell God about your sins
Her: What's a sin?
Him: It's when you something bad.
Her: I never do anything bad! I'm on the good list!
Him: ...
Her: Anyway if I did do anything bad I wouldn't tell God, I'd tell the elves
Religious education win.
 
My brother's eldest is doing her communion this year. She's got her first confession soon, and was asking the her da what it was all about.

Him: It's where you go and tell God about your sins
Her: What's a sin?
Him: It's when you something bad.
Her: I never do anything bad! I'm on the good list!
Him: ...
Her: Anyway if I did do anything bad I wouldn't tell God, I'd tell the elves


Did anyone else get stage fright going to confession, and not be able to remember any sins?

Like, I was fairly sure I'd been up to something, but when the door closed, lights went down, and the pressure really came on I was drawing a blank.

But, seeing as I was confident that sins had been committed, combined with the expectation of the whole thing, I'd just make sins up. I'd do the standard, "Taking the Lord's name in vain"... and grind to a halt. I'm not sure what I confessed to by the end of it, I got into the swing of things and really went for it. It never got to the level of robbing cars or anything, but there were large conspiracies. If priest asked for details my story fell apart.

Then I wondered if lying to priests was sinful. I wasn't going there though, because of the embarrassment.
 
Its fucking despicable they way those church cunts force little kids to have to make up bad shit they supposedly did.

Coercive control much there father
 

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