Quotes from your child (1 Viewer)

[Unicron]

Competition over. Rita's kid says the craziest shit.

 

[Anarcho Munk]

She reads too much Thumped.

 

[Man In A Can]

Last year, my daughter who was 10 at the time saw me taking out my credit card in a shop. She says " is that a credit card or a debit card"
I look at her very strangely and say
"its a credit card"
her " if you die i`ll have to pay that off, in future use your debit card"
With more questioning i had found out they were discussing bank cards in school. Now im not allowed use my credit card in front of her.

 

[Pantone247]

I walk into a room where she's reading with her gran, she stares at me sternly for quite some

"can we have some privatey please?"


ouch...

 

[lemonbravo]

"daddy, why's yoda so small?"

"... well i think all the people from his planet are that size."

"what's his planet called?"

" I don't know..."

"maybe it's South America."

 

[Wölflinge]

Sionnach caught with hand down her nappy, *actual* shit all over her face and mouth, jeans, top and lovingly smeared all over living room glass coffee table:

"I JUST touched my bum MAMMY!!!"

 

[Super Dexta]

Sionnach caught with hand down her nappy, *actual* shit all over her face and mouth, jeans, top and lovingly smeared all over living room glass coffee table:

"I JUST touched my bum MAMMY!!!"

that's it, I'm never having sex again.

 

[Pantone247]

on way home from ballet, first tree she comes too "I LOVE YOU TREE", hugs tree... next tree she comes too "OH I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH TREE!" hugs tree... third tree.. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TREE!" hugs tree...

very strange looks from passers by

 

[nooleen]

Sionnach caught with hand down her nappy, *actual* shit all over her face and mouth, jeans, top and lovingly smeared all over living room glass coffee table:

"I JUST touched my bum MAMMY!!!"

you called your kid sionnach? i like that actually, expect a buttload of bullshit from bitter irish teachers when she gets to secondary though.
i've never met a more bitter human than a teacher of the irish language.

 

[Wölflinge]

yup, Sionnach Elkka Langan.
She's a peach.

 

[whathappen?]

Sionnach caught with hand down her nappy, *actual* shit all over her face and mouth, jeans, top and lovingly smeared all over living room glass coffee table:

"I JUST touched my bum MAMMY!!!"

LOL FUNNIEST KID STORY EVER

 

[whathappen?]

D'ye remember a while back there was a pork scare.All Irish pork products were taken off the shelves. My little sister was watching the news.She began to get hysterical and ran out to my mum in the kitchen.Jesus , she says What are we going to do? What ??? says mum , "All the pork is poisioned what are we going to eat ? " She stands there for a moment then says " oh sure tis grand we can always just have ham sandwiches for lunch"

The saddest part is that my lil sis is 23 and in her final year of NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE , yeah that is correct her final fucking year of a nutritional science degree and she thought ham came from a cow.

 

[FiFi_LaRue]

D'ye remember a while back there was a pork scare.All Irish pork products were taken off the shelves. My little sister was watching the news.She began to get hysterical and ran out to my mum in the kitchen.Jesus , she says What are we going to do? What ??? says mum , "All the pork is poisioned what are we going to eat ? " She stands there for a moment then says " oh sure tis grand we can always just have ham sandwiches for lunch"

The saddest part is that my lil sis is 23 and in her final year of NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE , yeah that is correct her final fucking year of a nutritional science degree and she thought ham came from a cow.

Erm ... That's kinda scary.

 

[Anarcho Munk]

she also likes Michael Flatley...even scarier!

 

[Dromed]

"Daddy, i've done 'an american'"

"emm...ok, what do you mean, what's 'an american'?

"come on, i'll show you...."


as it turns out, 'an american' was actually diarrhoea.


'noah, do you know what american means?'

'no. I just forgot the word'

By the end of the evening it had entered the family vocabulary.

'where's daddy?'
'doing an american'

'daddy, tillie did a fart'
'tillie, do you need to do an american?'


I explained this morning though what 'american' actually means.

AMAZING!!!!

 

[snakybus]

Watching Pocohontas

"Will Pocohontas die, in a wibbly-wobbly way?"

 

[sweetoblivion]

Sionnach caught with hand down her nappy, *actual* shit all over her face and mouth, jeans, top and lovingly smeared all over living room glass coffee table:

"I JUST touched my bum MAMMY!!!"

oh sweet jesus!

 

[Corey]

Paddy's Day. Bought new scooter, went up killiney hill in order check it's two-person death-ride capabilities.

On the way up:

"Papa, this is a Mazin' hill. It's magic. Do fairies live here?"

"Bono lives here"

"Who's Bono?"

"Bono's King of the Fairies"

"oh."


On the way down, we were hitting about 30 mph, shouting at disapproving mothers and dog walkers to get out of the way. There's a small packed cafe coming into view:

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"

"Coco quick! shout somthing at the people!"

"WHHEERRRRRRRREE'S BONNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?????"

I looked over my shoulder after we passed and saw about thirty heads turned our way, mid sip and mouths open.



Priceless.

 

[Goodbye]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[flashback]

oh man. Tears in my eyes Corey. That's classic. I hope my nippers rule too.