Please someone step in if I ... (far from cute lifestyles) (1 Viewer)

Who lets these fuck wits make television ?


"Kitten loses it's eyes ? okay that's shocking but I'm worried people won't know just how shocking so, right, I'm gonna need a hard zoom in to close up and a horror movie swell and orchestra stab, lets use stock horror edit number 15-A there, and now when we get to the fridge I'm thinking maybe we should cut from the wide shot to a sudden over exposed frame and then again we'll go with the hard zoom in to close up and more of that horror movie stuff, can someone bring me the original score to SAW 2 please ? and we'll need to grade all of this footage with a mix of brown and blue to reeeeeally bring up the filth.

Okay now the breakdown, Okay we're obviously dealing with a fucking psycho here, I mean she's sure she's a fucking fruit loop, but we don't want anyone to lose sight of the fact that she's a fucking monster at the same time, so we can't go for the minor chord piano arpeggio just yet, lets get the "killer stalks it's victim 26-B suite" in here, remember people the kittens are the victims here. This woman and her son are the side show. They're like Joseph Pretzel or whatever,

What's that Tracey it's Fritzel...oh with an "F" you mean like the 3 Fs in fuck off Stacey ?

She's Joseph fucking Mengler Okay? Lets leave humanity out of this, what was the name of that English motherfucker ? you know ? Hid people in his walls ? Fred Savage ? Tony Blair ? Dominic West ? I'm sure it's something West ...eh fuck it doesn't matter, anyway she's the him of cats right! so we don't want the audience losing sight of this. flash to white and ......yeah okay on we go.

Right so why are we looking in her closet ? What's believable,

Good I like that Steve,

a live cat ran in there. Okay lets get a title card in there,.....Grim discovery ? Tracey... Really "grim" ? was the hollocaust Grim ? It's HORRIFIC!!! it's a fucking horrific discovery Tracey! Fuck do you people work for the fucking BBC ? this is not fucking Horizon people ? This is not Planet fucking earth here I am not Erroll fucking Morris. Jesus Christ.

Okay so hold up the bag, subtitle it so the audience stays focussed, lets get some bleak tension going here lets try long string sample number 10,.... no that's not it, think more se7en, but less cerebral, more Bone Collector or Hostel..... got it lets get some big but minimal drums in there. Now we need to shift the pathos a little, we want to start explaining a bit of why, so lets bring in the psychiatrist at this point, she's saying it's not that out of the ordinary, jesus thank christ we could find a shrink that fucking disheveled and old, no one will question a word she says, ugliness equals intellect people, but she's keeping in real talk I like that, who found her she's a fucking gold mine. Shots on me tonight Tracey good find. I even believe her and I know she's from Tijuana tech. Good work.

Okay back to the action slow pan accross to Stacey and on the line "we're going to find more" I need that next pan fast as fuck keep it moving people, were talking shock shock shock....

Okay is there any way we can work in a sexual violence angle in here ? Did her uncle fuck her as a child maybe ? Okay can we get that ass ugly expert to speculate on that ? Okay well lets get to that after lunch, okay good work people margaritas are on me "
 

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