Minor Pleasures (10 Viewers)

How do you make granola? I thought it came out of a goat or something.

SRS question, not taking the piss.

I will answer honestly. I've altered this recipe to personal taste somewhat over the years but along these lines:

400 grams of rolled oats (choose the biggest oats they have, "jumbo" is usually the phrase, smaller ones will work as well but they'll burn quicker)
50g of pumpkin seeds
50g sunflower seeds
half a bag of mixed nuts--around 250g
1/3 cup of vegetable oil
2/3 cup of honey

Oven on at 180 degrees (original recipe said lower than this but FUCK THAT).

Line two baking trays with greaseproof paper.

Put the oats and seeds in a mixing bowl. Roughly chop the nuts (this takes about half a fucking hour I'm sorry, it's the biggest task) and add them to the mixing bowl and give them a good stir.

Make a bit of a well in the middle of the mixture and add the oil and honey. Stir everything really well.

Divide the mixture between the two baking trays and spread out into a thin layer. It bakes better at the outer edges for whatever reason so try not to let it all clump in the middle.

Stick it in the oven for 30-35 minutes. Maybe stir halfway through to ensure its consistent.

I like to have it starting to toast/burn before taking it out. My original recipe said to let it cool on the trays but i find it sticks to the greaseproof paper so i immediately pour it all into a container and let it cool there. It'll all stick together eventually so make sure you can shake the container and maybe dig around to break it up.

Definitely tastes better once it's cooled, your house will smell great for the day.

You can add more or less oil and honey depending how "healthy" you want to make it. You could also add dried fruit or coconut if that's your thing i guess.

Serve with yoghurt, preferably Greek.

Alternatively: make loads and charge through the nose at your local farmers market.


You get the hoof of the goat and shave off some filings, put that in a bowl with a load of goats milk
That's what I said, yeah
 
You must accept a mere "winner" emoji on that one, if I could give an "informative" and a "thumbs up", I would.

I shan't be doing that anytime soon though, I'm moving house and actually threw out a whole bag of oats the other day. I didn't want to. But good for future reference.
 
Just sent off 5 invoices.

They date back to May, June and July. Despite all the shit that's happened recently the fact that I'm not starving while waiting for money is actually quite something for me. It's only a few days work I'm owed, but it all comes to about £1500. I won't see that money until the end of September, and I made a couple of clerical errors. Still, life can't be that bad if I'm in this position.

That said, the next payslip from my regular job will be the princely sum of £60 for two weeks.
 
Just sent off 5 invoices.

They date back to May, June and July. Despite all the shit that's happened recently the fact that I'm not starving while waiting for money is actually quite something for me. It's only a few days work I'm owed, but it all comes to about £1500. I won't see that money until the end of September, and I made a couple of clerical errors. Still, life can't be that bad if I'm in this position.

That said, the next payslip from my regular job will be the princely sum of £60 for two weeks.

Just got a ten bullet point reply from the finance guy, kindly, but very firmly, telling me how to do an invoice properly.

One point was putting in my own address. Emmmm, we'll see how that goes over the next few weeks.

Anyway, he wasn't a prick about it, even though I could tell he was somewhat miffed, so that's good. I shan't do a bad invoice again.
 
Just got a ten bullet point reply from the finance guy, kindly, but very firmly, telling me how to do an invoice properly.

One point was putting in my own address. Emmmm, we'll see how that goes over the next few weeks.

Anyway, he wasn't a prick about it, even though I could tell he was somewhat miffed, so that's good. I shan't do a bad invoice again.

Such an English response. Being polite but not being happy about it
 
Just entered a competition to superbusiness.com or similar. The prize is 25k. Fuckit, why not.

In the bit where they say "why should your business get this money?" I said something like "Just give me the money, I'm a safe bet. Ask anyone".

I assume they expected some kind of business plan. Bollocks to that, I'm seanc.

If you're not in, you can't win, and I have nothing to lose.
 
Just entered a competition to superbusiness.com or similar. The prize is 25k. Fuckit, why not.

In the bit where they say "why should your business get this money?" I said something like "Just give me the money, I'm a safe bet. Ask anyone".

I assume they expected some kind of business plan. Bollocks to that, I'm seanc.

If you're not in, you can't win, and I have nothing to lose.
in the 1980's a friend of mine and their pal once applied to the Arts Council to go to NYC on a cultural trip (holiday).
 
that used to be called 'The Rye'

that was 20 years ago though
It's called The Mill or something now. Frequented by gangs of middle-aged cycling men in lycra who clip-clop in in their special cycling shoes, smelling of sweat and taking over the place.
 

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