Do you get lonely much? I used to feel wild lonely as a kid and early adult. Lately, I've started feeling lonelier than ever. It feels more profound because it's so mundane, if that makes a whit of sense. I hate feeling so needy.
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Loneliness (1 Viewer)
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for me, it was when i'd bought my first house in 2003; living on my own, first time i'd done it, getting home and doing some DIY and havng no-one to talk to. played havoc with my sleep patterns as i'd end up going to bed around 9pm out of boredom, and waking up at 4am.
No not all - being around other people all the time wrecks my head and I love being on my own most of the day. Unfortunately feeling like this is usually not respected either.
Not being understood and being lonely must have a lot of crossover emotions.
Not being understood and being lonely must have a lot of crossover emotions.
GARYXKNIFEDX
Well-Known Member
I have strong introvert tendencies. But also like having mates.
I wonder is the "social" side to the internet good or bad for feeling lonely
I wonder is the "social" side to the internet good or bad for feeling lonely
11 years ago I was feeling lonely, for about the first time in my life, so I got a dog.
I used to be alone a lot, but never lonely because of it, was much comfortable by myself. I'm slightly more social now.
I used to be alone a lot, but never lonely because of it, was much comfortable by myself. I'm slightly more social now.
yeah I used to have it bad but I never fully understood it. Like, I didn't like being alone, but I also had no burning desire to be around other people. I think what I figured out, eventually, was that it was easy to conflate loneliness with the general listlessness you can feel in life sometimes. And, for me, that stemmed from confidence and self-worth issues. I inadvertently came through it, not knowing how, and never fully understanding what the root of the problem, was. I'm living with someone the last 5 years (the missus) and things changed almost the instant that happened, but I'm not convinced being in a relationship, by itself, was the solution. I think being in a relationship makes you realise things about yourself, and helps you figure out a direction to head in (I mean that as much outside of the relationship, as within it). I think if, for whatever reason, I found myself single again, I'd be better prepared for it given the things I've learned and realised about myself.
I hope things improve for you.
I hope things improve for you.
I think what being in a relationship has thought me is that I had a structure to my life that allowed it to be functional but it wasn't conducive to having other people in it. The changes I've needed to make, in behaviour and mindset, to get the relationship to work (thus far) have made it easier to relate to other people.
The loneliest I've ever felt was during The Worst Lockdown when Mrs. egg_ was really sick and the older of the kids was going through a teenage crisis.
I've learned from the last few years is that I really need people in my life who obviously enjoy my company and who are willing to show me affection
I've learned from the last few years is that I really need people in my life who obviously enjoy my company and who are willing to show me affection
I felt it a bit around my mid-thirties when the opportunities for socialising that I was used to started to dry up for various reasons (not playing/recording in bands any more, friends getting married or having kids or moving away etc). I kinda felt left behind and conscious that I was on my own a lot. Slowly the loneliness mellowed in to misanthropy and I learned that I enjoy my own company and don't like people. Sorted. Or, more accurately, I still enjoy the social occasions and appreciate them more when they happen and also enjoy pottering about by myself. I'm not sure what kind of fruitcake I'm turning into but sure nobody cares so whatever.
good point. about age 32-33 suddenly marketing people see that age group in the mammy/daddy category w/ adverts featuring baby care, need a bigger car, health/life insurance etc kind of stuff.
I found this very annoying for a few years but by my late 30's I had gotten used to it.
I have only gone to about 40 gigs in my life but about 18 of them were in 2019. it has to be something I am really up for or I won't bother going out - I don't drink and am very picky about where my money goes.
I get a chance to talk about stuff on thumped that no one I meet regularly is interested in.
thumped is for pricks though
not at all. a long watch but pretty accessible for the most part (my boss)
Annual Willie Bermingham Lecture: Loneliness and Brian Health | Irish Gerontological Society
Irish Gerontological Society and ALONE
I've always been balanced between two extremes - very social, and very self-isolating. But as I've grown overly comfortable in my own company, and jealous of my time as I've gotten older. Not a good thing
Whoa whoa dude. You really oughta try not to judge your feelings. If you feel needy it's because you need something
not at all. a long watch but pretty accessible for the most part (my boss)
Annual Willie Bermingham Lecture: Loneliness and Brian Health | Irish Gerontological Society
Irish Gerontological Society and ALONEwww.irishgerontology.com
That pun on Brian/brain health deserves recognition.
It’s not the first time it’s come up as you can imagine
Cormcolash
Well-Known Member
I've always been good at doing shit on my own, as I get older I think I just have less incentives to not just do shit on my own anyway.
we are mostly men on here, and men are often weirdos when it comes to loneliness, and interpersonal things generally. I try to keep some steady friends around. it can be hard work.
Basically the opposite.
Being with people tires me out, being alone is recovery and feels like a relief.
I'm surprised to see this many people here that also don't seem to get very lonely. I suspect that this isn't a representational sample, most people get lonely from what I've seen.
Where I live now is highly social and the village kind of knows me because I'm still a novelty. It's almost reminiscent of Coronation Street in the sense there's this highly improbable pub that more or less everyone turns up and discusses things. If they don't turn up at the pub they'll end up in the front garden here, so I see everyone. This is luring me back out into being more social and less consciously isolating. I feel more control, I can just leave and walk to a guaranteed safe home if I like.
I don't think people would criticize you feeling needy, or even define it as needy at all. I'd always thought wanting company is the normal human condition. Virtually everyone I meet up with would align with that kind of thinking.
Being with people tires me out, being alone is recovery and feels like a relief.
I'm surprised to see this many people here that also don't seem to get very lonely. I suspect that this isn't a representational sample, most people get lonely from what I've seen.
Where I live now is highly social and the village kind of knows me because I'm still a novelty. It's almost reminiscent of Coronation Street in the sense there's this highly improbable pub that more or less everyone turns up and discusses things. If they don't turn up at the pub they'll end up in the front garden here, so I see everyone. This is luring me back out into being more social and less consciously isolating. I feel more control, I can just leave and walk to a guaranteed safe home if I like.
I don't think people would criticize you feeling needy, or even define it as needy at all. I'd always thought wanting company is the normal human condition. Virtually everyone I meet up with would align with that kind of thinking.
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