Greatest newspaper headline ever. (1 Viewer)

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Skywalkers in Korea Cross Han Solo






Quote:

They came from all over the world, poles in hand, and feet ready to inch more than half a mile across a high wire strung over the Han River in a spine-tingling battle of balance, speed and high anxiety. As part of its annual city festival, the South Korean capital staged Thursday what was billed as the world's first high-wire championship, drawing 18 contestants from nine countries for three days of supreme feats of concentration.

Each acrobat must navigate the 1.2-inch-thick wire that spans the river, with the top prize of $15,000 going to the person crossing it fastest.

The contestants - 14 men and four women - include such masters of the high wire as Jade Kindar-Martin of Shelburne, Vt., a former Cirque du Soleil performer who once crossed London's River Thames at a height of 150 feet, and Colombia's Alan Martinez, who ambled across the Amazon.

They will face Adili Wuxiuer of China - the world record-holder for distance who walked on a wire nearly a half-mile across the Chongqing Cliff at a height of 2,250 feet in 2003.

Organizers in Seoul said stringing the wire across the Han made it the longest-ever such high wire, meaning anyone making it across will break the record for distance.

The iron cable was supported by 72-foot-high towers on either bank of the river. A safety net was deployed under the sections of the wire over the riverbanks; otherwise the walkers faced a plunge into the swirling gray water.




Alexey Marchenko of Russia was one of two competitors who lost his balance and fell into the river Thursday with only 164 feet to go. Some in the crowd screamed as he splashed loudly into the Han, followed about a second later by his pole.

Damp and disqualified, Marchenko appeared unhurt as he chatted with rescuers in a motor boat that had scooped him from the water. All the contestants wore life vests.

The main wire - with yellow flags every 82 feet - was supported by stabilizing lines to keep it from swaying sideways, but it sagged under its weight across the middle of the river, meaning the drop to the water was actually much lower.

Thursday's first competitor - Kwon Won-tae of South Korea - glided across the wire to the cheers and applause of hundreds of people on each bank of the river that bisects Seoul.

Kwon, a famous tightrope walker in South Korea, flinched when his balance was disrupted by the wind and birds before completing the walk in 17 minutes and 7 seconds.

South Korea has a tradition of tightrope walking going back centuries, but the skill has recently experienced a renaissance after last year's hit film "King and the Clown," which featured a troupe of entertainers who became court jesters. In the movie, Kwon was a stand-in for the lead actor in tightrope walking scenes.

In the Korean tradition, tightrope walkers use fans to maintain balance and also perform jumps and somersaults - while even cracking jokes to amuse their audience.

There was no such high-wire high jinks Thursday as Kwon maintained a swiftly controlled pace and look of serious determination.

"It's amazing. I am too shaken to speak. I feel like it was myself out there," said Song Won-sun, a businessman watching the event. "I am just worried that the wind will disturb the contestants."

Fastest across Thursday was Abdusataer Dujiabudula of China, who seemed to dance over the wire as he finished in about 11 minutes. His loose-fitting red and gold costume fluttered in the breeze, and he high-fived a man on the high platform as he finished.

"It feels very good. It feels all right. It was very tight," he said, adding that he got tired about two-thirds of the way across.

Pedro Carrillo of Reno, Nev., said it would be "something very big" for him to complete such a distance. The 60-year-old acrobat has been wire-walking for 43 years.

"I feel the wind, that's all I worry about," said Carrillo. "But I think I can keep going once I start."

And so he did, completing the walk in 17 minutes and 7 seconds - the same time as Kwon.

The winner of the competition will be announced Saturday.


 
all time favourite has to be "homeopathic remedy remedies pathetic homo", but that's from the onion so doesn't really qualify
 
I still love the one from Scottish football when the underdogs, Caledonian Thistle, beat the champions, Celtic, 3-1.




Super Cally Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious



Fuck Einstein, THAT'S genius!
 
"Scumbag shoots Dimebag"

actually that might have been the onion as well.
 
The greatest headline of all time without question If it actually happened) is The Sun headline about psychiatric patient who escaped from an institution and attempted to sexually assault members of the cleaning staff on his way out:

Nuts Screws Washers & Bolts
 
Last weekend there was a story on the front page of one of the Irish tabloids about an elderly hooker working some posh estate:

"Money For Old Grope"
 

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