Farting (1 Viewer)

[dudley]

False elevener!

 

[Anthony]

this was worth it just for the friendface alert. "thumped has created a new topic Farting"

 

[dudley]

rrrrrrrrrrip!

 

[egg_]

I found out recently that my Ma doesn't tolerate my Da farting in bed - he has to go out of the room. She was appalled that her daughters-in-law don't have similar policies. I think my poor oul Da was jealous

 

[Jerry Twig]

If ever there was a case of 'show her this thread'...

 

[ann post]

I did a fucking amazing one in the the shower this morning.

I was sort of lightheaded after it.

 

[sleepy]

I was reading my 2 year old his bed time story the other night and I let rip with a massive fart right in the middle of it which made me break out in a massive giggling fit that left me unable to keep reading. My kid got real annoyed and started shouting "Daddy stop laughing" which just made the giggling worse.

If laughing at farts is wrong I don't want to be right

 

[GO]

Farts are possibly one of lifes greatest pleasures

 

[Scientician 0.8]

I let out an SBD* in work the other day and thought I had got away with it. Pod colleague shortly thereafter goes "Oh my fucking god what is that smell? It's fucking rank!! It smells like Guinness farts."
Thankfully just as I had let out the bum cyklon-B, someone else had opened the window so the pod colleagues surmised the smell was emanating from outside. "It must be bin collection day," said one.



*Silent but deadly.

 

[east hastings]

Whether it was you that did it or not, being the first person to say "did someone fart?" absolves you of all blame

 

[Jerry Twig]

I take a secret pride in very smelly farts.

 

[Scientician 0.8]

Whether it was you that did it or not, being the first person to say "did someone fart?" absolves you of all blame

Unless someone invokes the "S/he who smelt it, dealt it" clause.

 

[nooleen]

it's a social minefield

a foul, smelly social minefield

 

[therealjohnny]

 

[hydromancer]

Flatulence Underwear - buy at Firebox.com

 

[sleepy]

I let out an SBD* in work the other day and thought I had got away with it. Pod colleague shortly thereafter goes "Oh my fucking god what is that smell? It's fucking rank!! It smells like Guinness farts."
Thankfully just as I had let out the bum cyklon-B, someone else had opened the window so the pod colleagues surmised the smell was emanating from outside. "It must be bin collection day," said one.



*Silent but deadly.

That reminds me of one time back when I was in school. My mate Liam was having really bad stomach problems and let this absolutely ferocious SBD that rippled it's way around the classroom. It was like a Mexican Wave of people going "Ah ferfucksake" and pulling their jumpers over their noses. The teacher was standing at the top of the room looking at this unfolding with a slightly superior and smug expression on his face and said "Oh for heaven's sake lads, would you ever stop being so immature, nothing could smell that ba.....(suddenly his face wrinkled in disgust)... For the love of God, OPEN THE WINDOWS, whoever did that should be ashamed of themselves"

 

[therealjohnny]

Anyone ever have someone fart on them during sex?

asking for a friend

 

[therealjohnny]

Just to be clear by "have someone fart on them" I don't mean it was a request.

I mean , my friend doesn't mean it was a request

 

[Jerry Twig]

Well that went down like a wet fart.

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

Anyone ever have someone fart on them during sex?

asking for a friend

This might be straying into urban legend territory but a colleague of mine was telling us a story about one of her brother's friends. He was performing anal sex on a young lady in a car park. When he finished and withdrew, she sharted on his shoes.