Doctor Muscles
Well-Known Member
Following on from the Golden Girls fan fiction thread; has anyone ever been to this site? The onion AV club did a feature a while back about the weirdest shit it could find there. I headed straight for the 'Dharma and Greg' section myself, this story is by artsy-freak45
It was reviewed by a peer:
Dharma was leaning over the kitchen table looking at the mosaic she had just made out of shredded tissue paper munching some celery and humming to herself. From the front hall she heard the door slam.
“Hey hon.!” she called out to her husband now returning home from work.
Greg walked into the kitchen, following the sound of her voice, with a huge grin plastered to his face.
Dharma stood up and put her hand on her hips and laughed, “What are you so happy about?” she asked and walked toward him.
Greg danced about the kitchen a little, “I just got promoted!” He finally shrieked.
Dharma jumped up into the air, “Oh my god! That’s fantastic! Lets celebrate!”
“I am so happy,” Greg, continued out into the hall, “Finally I can shove something in Derek Cummings’ face! I finally beat him!” He yelled putting his coat on.
Dharma stopped dead in her tracks. “Is that what makes you so happy? The fact you can now show off at the office?”
“Of course Dharma, this guy has been bothering me with how good he is ever since I took up the job at the law firm!” Greg was a little, overly ecstatic.
Dharma looked as though she might be sick, “but Greg, it shouldn’t be about that, you should be glad your boss has now recognized your hard work and is rewarding you for it, not so you can gloat in this guys face!”
Greg chucked a little, “Of course it’s not just that. We now can probably buy a bigger place, you can get some new clothes, heck, and we can probably even throw out that ratty old couch we’ve had for years.” His tune suddenly changed to doting husband, “you can quit your job, and I can buy you some new jewelry.”
Dharma was appalled, had she taught him nothing, she thought going into this marriage she made it clear that she didn’t care about money, she loved him for him (even thought they did get married after only had one date). “I don’t think I want to go out anymore,” she spoke finally, while putting her hand to her forehead.
“Suit yourself, “ Greg replied, shrugging, “I’ll get Pete to take me out for some drinks.”
Dharma waved her arm in his general direction as he walked out into the hall, and went quickly toward the phone.
Abby was now on speed dial, so there was no effort to reach her on Dharma’s part.
“Hello?” Abby sounded cheerful on the other end.
“Hey Abby, what’s up?” Dharma asked her, tiptoeing around the issue she would soon bring up.
“Oh, I was just meditating out on the garden, and Larry was in the shed, doing who knows what.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Hey, Abby, can I bring up an issue with you?” Dharma had a pained expression across her face.
“Sure thing!”
“It’s me and Greg-
Abby quickly cut her off, “that son of a bitch” Abby yelled, in a tone she normally ever got to (only on occasions when she was really angry) so now, Dharma was worried. “Pardon my French, but do you know what your husband did?”
Dharma paused, now really quite frightened of what Abby would say next, “no, what?”
There was a brief moment of silence, the Abby spoke, “That husband of yours and the nerve to come around here today and asked to tone down a bit, because we were a bit radical for the people that you and him were becoming!”
Dharma was shocked, “that doesn’t sound at all like Greg. But I dunno, he has been acting rather strange and a little insensitive ever since he told me he got a promotion at work today.”
“Ooh! That explains a lot, Dharma.” Abby said, her toned down considerably.
“Explains what?”
“Well, your father and I have always tried to instill the fact that money is the root of all evil with you, ever since you were a little girl. Now that Greg has access to a lot more money these days, he’s drunk from all the power money instills. Hey, he grew up a Montgomery, and take a look at his parents, not the type of people that will instill the value that you don’t need money with their young son.”
Dharma was awe struck, how hadn’t she picked up on this before? It was so obvious. “Thank you, Abby,” Dharma said into the phone, and then hung up.
After a couple of hours of thinking on the couch, Dharma had reached some disturbing conclusions, and had questions about this marriage she never thought she’d be asking, after all, maybe she and Greg did rush into it too quickly.
Keep checking for more later…when inspiration strikes! (wow, that was lame)
It was reviewed by a peer:
Thanks for the review of my storyGreat that there are others who write about Dharma and Greg. Very good dialogue. You're really describing the characters as they are.
