Ah that's deadly! there was a telly programme a few years ago about what cats get up to when they're not at home and how we think we've domesticated them, but we really haven't. Especially if they're not neutered, they totally have a 2nd life you just don't know about, until one of your neighbours informs you that your cat spends half its life in their house. My ma and da have 3 and I encountered one of them coming out of A PUB down the road from their house at one point. Which was jolly amusing.
the dog's diary said:7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favourite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!
the cat's diary said:Day 483 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.
Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of
the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,
I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must
remember to try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan...
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement
was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is
and how I may use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has
got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room,
his safety is assured.
But I have patience, I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
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