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i am now 6 years older than tom waits was when he recorded that song.

Earwigging on what I assume are student teachers on the bus. One saying she was asked in class 'were you in the famine?' 'oh no, that was many many years ago' 'but there was one in 2008?'

yeah, my colleagues had to have that one explained to them years ago. one of them thought it meant something like 'being generous'.

my mother to her five year old granddaughter: 'what do you think you'll be when you grow up?' 'i want to be an actor' 'will you not be a doctor so you can look after me if i can get sick?' cocks head to one side, looks quizzically at her grandmother and says 'are you sure you'll still be alive...

my 5 year old nephew to his older sister, years ago; 'YOU'RE A STUPID SILLY BILLY' my brother called out 'jack! you know not to use that word!' (they were not allowed use words like 'stupid' or 'idiot') jack thinks for a second. 'YOU'RE A FUCKING SILLY BILLY'

'i want to poop in your mouth' - 3 year old nephew. 'i have a spicy poo coming' - 3 year old nephew. 'hey, have a look at my poo' - 3 year old nephew. 'haha farty poop pants' - 3 year old nephew. fun night babysitting.

with my seven year old nephew in the back of the car: 'you mean iron is a real thing?' 'yeah, most of this car is made from it' 'wow, i thought it was only in minecraft'.

my three year old nephew yesterday: "the black guys don't like the whites' he was talking about the birds in the back garden.

a mate of mine has trained his two year old to do this on command:

my six year old nephew: 'haha, you're a stupid fuckin' idiot!' my brother: 'oi; you're not allowed use that word!' nephew: 'sorry dad; you're a silly fuckin' idiot'.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d2v7i/parents_of_reddit_what_is_the_creepiest_thing/

my brother to his four year old son: "that friend of yours, called ben - what's his second name?' 'jamin!'

my four year old nephew to my mother, when she asked him about going on holiday: "i can't BELIEVE we're flying out of terminal 1"

yesterday, a four year old kid of a friend of ours told my gf he couldn't play with me because 'his hands are too rough'.

they produce a fairly nice whisky on that island.

on the bus once, a two year old girl, out loud, talking about a black woman who was holding a baby yabbering away - 'mummy, is that a monkey that woman is holding?'

my (nearly five year old) niece to my sister, her aunt: 'trisha, why does that girl have brown skin?' 'well, why do you have red hair?' 'huh?' 'well, some people have white skin, some people have yellow skin, and some people have brown skin' 'are you sure it's not because she is poor?'

i was just on the phone to my niece. she's playing 'going to the farm'. 'are there cows or sheep at the farm?' 'no, horsies' 'there are horsies at the farm?' 'they're pretend horsies though' 'ah okay' 'they're pretend horsies but we're pretending they're real horsies. bye.'