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Well, if you would just do it right in the first place....

Harrison, aged 3: "I was playing Bad Womans today!" "What's that?" "When you have to run away from bad women!"

it wasn't me that was saying this, BTW.....

Yesterday morning, doing a wee - "my ball is now empty" A little later, doing another wee - "now the other ball is empty, my willy can fall off"

Video made my our school, all the kids talking about Syria and what do to. "We should give them clothes", "We should welcome them" etc., Lily says "We need to show them how to train goats to make money for train tickets!"

Lily in the car yesterday, after I let a 'feck' slip "you said feck! feckin! FUCKIN! what does FUCKIN' mean?"

At swimming lessons earlier, drying her down in the cubicle afterwards with a towel, and at full voice: "daddy, why are you rubbing my vagina?"

are you????

Tell him 'yes, but it's ok because of Jesus and stuff'

"Is it called the weekend, because the week is over?" "Yes" "Amn't I clever?!"

after leaving a birthday party in a play centre ".....i can't live like this anymore" She's 4......

"daddy, i'll never kill my little brother!"

me: "ok, lily, night night, see you in the morning" give kiss on cheek Lily: "i don't want a kiss" me: "ok" mimes taking it back Lily: "I HAVENT GOT TIME FOR THIS, I HAVE TO SLEEP"

"The only thing I love about you is I love you"

Ah, a classic at bedtime tonight. "dada, i'm going to make kermit be my muppet man bride!"

"I think I need to start moaning..."

"What are you dressed up as?" "A superhero!" "What's your superpower?" "Tidying up!"

"Dada, can I tell you what 'me either' means? It means 'I don't like it either'...in France'

this morning - "momma, when i was asleep you ATE ALL MY IDEAS"

Worn out from all the Christmassing "Can today go back to being a normal day?"