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Not my child, my 8 year old niece, who wrote me a beautiful letter sympathising with me over the pooch passing away. Some excerpts "I am very upset about Edgar but he will always be in our hearts." "Please keep going on your walks and when I visit you I will join you." Such a lovely kid.

A hitler signed Communist Manifesto would be quite the collectors item

At least it wasn't a ring

That looks like good slime You letting them watch WWE?

Not my kid but my neighbour's niece. A little Irish-Filipino girl who moved here with her dad about 4 years ago because she was deaf and non-verbal and had better opportunities for support and education here. About 18 months ago she got a cochlear implant and I haven't seen her since. "Hello"

A stool for putting my bum on, not a stool for coming out of it

Nephew "Ian that stool is too small and your bum is too big."

Nephew's last day in creche before Christmas. "I'm on holiday tomorrow." May the rest of your life be so hassle free kiddo.

He'll be the first one to speak at the intervention

"I'm going to run away"

My nephew, 2, who is up with my parents, after I nearly stepped on a piece of a jigsaw he was clearing away: "Ian! Be more careful."

Still no hug but as I carried him out of my sister's car this afternoon my dog came out of the house and he got all excited. "Do you know who that is Daniel?" "Das your dog." I am now Unkie E apparently.

2 years, I've tried, "Daniel can I have a hug?" "No no no no no"

My nephew does that too. He's up visiting next week and I hope he doesn't continue on his campaign of emotional abuse against me. 6 months ago he ran over to me and gave me a hug for no reason, nothing since.

How is your daughter's name pronounced Hugh?

What's your wife been saying to her behind your back?

This seems like the best place for this ... LiveLeak.com - China : 2yo Lights Up Cigarette And Smokes It.

Competition over. Rita's kid says the craziest shit.

Your girl is going on some do not let in homeland security list.