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Christ! Depp's a ham. He's a fucking ham sandwich. He's a fucking Spar ham roll you buy at three in the morning after a feed of cheap Polish lager and a shift from a Mullingar girl in the Garda club. He's rancid coleslaw and the lingering aftertaste of regret. Fuck off Depp.

The fedora is a fine hat. It needs rehabilitating.

This is pure wrong.

Is he borrowing Jesus' leap card?

Whoa, dude. Harsh.

I can barely look at the pictures. Mentallers.

Well at first I was wondering why he's wearing sandals in two pictures and shoes in one. But before I figured it out, I noticed something far more serpentine to occupy my thoughts. Cheers.

There's more to this photo sequence than meets the eye, 7.

Hold on, AM I TH ONLY ONE ...etc.

Hold on, that was Boy George, wasn't it?

Fucking Hippos. I knew it.

Unnerving?

Awesome?

HA HA. A five year old died!

Yep. Nauseating. The millions of reasons NOT to do that kinda thing. Vertigo might be the sappiest, but it's mine.

That's making me ill.