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Him: were you DJing at the funeral today? Me: No, why would i be doing at a funeral Him: you know, playing sad songs

Having the chats and i mention Bruce Lee z: Do you know Bruce Lee me: yeah z: he died from fitness It's good to see that after all these years that is still the rumour

Diddles taught him that

Z: hey dad Me: what? Z: Do you know the five lamps? Me: yes Z: go hang your bollix off them?

Shit, what happened next?

While watching Percy Jackson Him: if heaven is real I know what God I'd be Me: who Him: God of flesh

him: 'Dad, I hate your rules'

Last night i was trying his light out and he half wakes up and asks for a drink of water. I return with the water, he takes a drink still half asleep. I say night son, he says "Peace out" and goes back to sleep FFS

Dad, if you believe in Jesus are you British?

him: "dad, when you die can i have your driving license so i can drive?"

From a discussion Diddies had with HMB today about not believing in god: Fionn from school doesn't believe in God either, he's from Dublin. Dublins don't believe in god. Later he asked, "Are Ghostbusters in the Jesus Christ Story?"

Dad I have the ultimate weapon. Behold!!!!

Z: i want to go and see my original family me: who's that then? Z: Star Wars fans

They're doing some drama in pre-school for xmas. Me. What's the drama about Z. Dunno Me. Who's in it, are mary and Joseph? Z. Mary and joseph. Do I know them?

Me: i saw one of your friends last night Him: Who? Me" guess, it's a she Him: Shesus?

how did you respond to that one?

"What film did you watch on granda's iPad when you were a boy?"

I'm so proud

"You've ruined my life" He's 3 and a half

After a long walk and trip to the playground on Sunday "Dad, I'm in a jocker"