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  1. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    I never mastered autofellatio
  2. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    Also, I once walked in on a rat licking it’s own penis and he looked really guilty when he spotted me.
  3. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    Saying “finishing rodents off” doesn’t really clarify that this isn’t about genitalia!
  4. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    Part of the reason I’ve stopped using Twitter. Lots of dodgy stuff and accounts being promoted into my timeline.
  5. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    So it’s a Smirnoff Ice?
  6. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    The short-lived collaboration between Pfizer and 7-Up to put Viagra in lemonade - 7-Really-Up!
  7. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    I’ll miss you on there but THUMPED IS BETTER!
  8. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

  9. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    Mariah Carey - radio activity Marie Curie - radioactivity
  10. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    I was thinking the same thing, I was going to take down one of her posters and turn it into a mask.
  11. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    Please tell me this is a real thing and not some sort of canard.
  12. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

  13. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    I’m a cynical pop music fan on a niche Irish music website in a movie...
  14. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    Paging Gemma O’Doherty.
  15. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    I am definitely singing that to my youngest tonight. Currently I sing a nonsense rhyme that my granny made up and Leonard Cohen’s “Heart with No Companion”.
  16. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

  17. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    I’m inordinately proud of this tweet:
  18. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    You know when you were in college and some fucker had used a highlighter to highlight every single line in the book you were using - that's that guy.
  19. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    In fairness, paranoia is when you think other people are out to get you and I’m not sure Williams counts as people.
  20. Cornu Ammonis

    Just Signed up for Twitter

    I've 140 on the phone app but not sure if it needs to updated as that involves pressing a button to check.
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