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I read this last night and only got it this afternoon.

That took me a moment.

I hope the application was for an English teacher because they are in need of one.

Meh, I'm up in buildings like that all the time in Battlefield 4.

Everything above the horizontal black line are terms you have googled before in that search box (or at least someone on your computer did). Everything below the black line is Google generated.

I got my first mobile in 1999 and I still have the same number.

Couriers in Northern Ireland are divils for doing that. Never lost a package to the bin truck but come on, putting my deliveries in the bin?

Two 12 hour flights, not once did I go to the loo. 15 minutes of Battlefield 4 and I've gone twice.

"Kill me..."

Looks like Lidl/Aldi/Lidli/Aldl.

And when I was at my friend's house, a car ran a stop sign and plowed into the side of another car.

Doesn't surprise me. When I was there a few years ago, my friend picked me up from the airport and my life flashed before my eyes as we drove through the city. Cars as weapons.

What was that rumour about Richard Gere again?

Mucinex sounds like some sort of phlegmy villain from a 50s comic book.

Photograph I took of a (fairly large) waterfall in Derry in 2010:

I'm sick of these motherfuckin' Smaugs on my motherfuckin' plane!

http://www.rte.ie/news/2013/0818/468883-michaella-mccollum/