Loneliness (1 Viewer)

that's often cited as one of the reasons people find value in alternative therapy, is that can what make the difference is not so much the therapy, but being taken seriously by someone with a sympathetic ear.
 
that's often cited as one of the reasons people find value in alternative therapy, is that can what make the difference is not so much the therapy, but being taken seriously by someone with a sympathetic ear.

I think that's the general idea with a holistic approach as practised by most alternative medicine types.
 
Lads, I highly recommend actual therapy for anyone who's struggling with any kind of blues. I kinda lost my shit a bit at the end of lockdown number 1, and then Mrs. egg_ got sick, and then the eldest kinda started to lose her shit too. Asked the GP for a recommendation, found a therapist right in the village, and she was great - really helped me sort my head out and deal with Mrs. egg_'s illness and the child's teenage crisis. Plus it's actually kinda fun to sit and talk at length about yourself for ages, and have someone who's not already sick of listening to your shit actually pay close attention. A few times I was in a session and just was overwhelmed with a profound feeling of relief, and I feel much better able deal with myself now. 5 stars
 
Lads, I highly recommend actual therapy for anyone who's struggling with any kind of blues. I kinda lost my shit a bit at the end of lockdown number 1, and then Mrs. egg_ got sick, and then the eldest kinda started to lose her shit too. Asked the GP for a recommendation, found a therapist right in the village, and she was great - really helped me sort my head out and deal with Mrs. egg_'s illness and the child's teenage crisis. Plus it's actually kinda fun to sit and talk at length about yourself for ages, and have someone who's not already sick of listening to your shit actually pay close attention. A few times I was in a session and just was overwhelmed with a profound feeling of relief, and I feel much better able deal with myself now. 5 stars

Just to say, I've been doing similar for a few years now. It's been transformational for me, one of the best things I've ever done.

That being said, therapy isn't for everyone, and not every therapist will suit everyone who might benefit from therapy.

Sometimes people are better off on meds, or a combination of both.
 
Lads, I highly recommend actual therapy for anyone who's struggling with any kind of blues. I kinda lost my shit a bit at the end of lockdown number 1, and then Mrs. egg_ got sick, and then the eldest kinda started to lose her shit too. Asked the GP for a recommendation, found a therapist right in the village, and she was great - really helped me sort my head out and deal with Mrs. egg_'s illness and the child's teenage crisis. Plus it's actually kinda fun to sit and talk at length about yourself for ages, and have someone who's not already sick of listening to your shit actually pay close attention. A few times I was in a session and just was overwhelmed with a profound feeling of relief, and I feel much better able deal with myself now. 5 stars

its funny - I had a similar work related catharsis at a meeting last night - where I had to give a summary (in confidence) to two trusted US colleagues about a really complex and stressful project thats causing all sorts of issues. Having to give a balanced narrative account to two people who don't have to listen to me bitching about it every day, and have a different perspective was really relieving.
 
Lads, I highly recommend actual therapy for anyone who's struggling with any kind of blues. I kinda lost my shit a bit at the end of lockdown number 1, and then Mrs. egg_ got sick, and then the eldest kinda started to lose her shit too. Asked the GP for a recommendation, found a therapist right in the village, and she was great - really helped me sort my head out and deal with Mrs. egg_'s illness and the child's teenage crisis. Plus it's actually kinda fun to sit and talk at length about yourself for ages, and have someone who's not already sick of listening to your shit actually pay close attention. A few times I was in a session and just was overwhelmed with a profound feeling of relief, and I feel much better able deal with myself now. 5 stars

Just to say, I've been doing similar for a few years now. It's been transformational for me, one of the best things I've ever done.

That being said, therapy isn't for everyone, and not every therapist will suit everyone who might benefit from therapy.

Sometimes people are better off on meds, or a combination of both.
I’d also recommend the whole counselling thing too. But like @Unicron said, not every therapist is suitable. I’ve been to 2 different ones. 1st one was not good. 2nd one was excellent and really helped. That’s been my experience
 
Re. loneliness, I think it can result from self-isolation as a result a combination of a few things that gather together at a specific age, for guys especially:
  1. Being bored - working for the man, let's face it. Even if you quite like it. Less time for creative stuff or whatever you're into.
  2. Tiredness - definitely feeds into the blues. Your quality of sleep suffers as you get older, no doubt about it. Exercise can help. As the evening progresses you get tireder and tireder.
  3. The blues that you can control - I don't think this is depression but definitely feeds into it. You could call this a selfish desire to feel sorry for yourself, the whole 'nobody loves me' thing, which is actually a kind of indulgence, gets you into a spiral of isolation. I'm not saying it's not warranted, but I reckon it's definitely a thing and can lead to the blues you can't control when combined with self-isolation.
The problem as I see it is you can address 2. with exercise but that leads to 1. being harder to combat (e.g. going for a run is boring, sorry runners). The way I address 3. is I go to bed. But will I sleep? Then you're back at 2. Plus with kids and that, all this becomes difficult to manage.

It's a shame that men almost actively avoid socialisation, and that's definitely a factor too. And it's not just about hanging out with other guys either. Men and women stop hanging out together as well as they get older. Not good.

Anyway, hope you all feel better, pricks! You too @Scientician 0.8

Thumped = Online Mens Shed for Pricks
 
Re. loneliness, I think it can result from self-isolation as a result a combination of a few things that gather together at a specific age, for guys especially:
  1. Being bored - working for the man, let's face it. Even if you quite like it. Less time for creative stuff or whatever you're into.
  2. Tiredness - definitely feeds into the blues. Your quality of sleep suffers as you get older, no doubt about it. Exercise can help. As the evening progresses you get tireder and tireder.
  3. The blues that you can control - I don't think this is depression but definitely feeds into it. You could call this a selfish desire to feel sorry for yourself, the whole 'nobody loves me' thing, which is actually a kind of indulgence, gets you into a spiral of isolation. I'm not saying it's not warranted, but I reckon it's definitely a thing and can lead to the blues you can't control when combined with self-isolation.
The problem as I see it is you can address 2. with exercise but that leads to 1. being harder to combat (e.g. going for a run is boring, sorry runners). The way I address 3. is I go to bed. But will I sleep? Then you're back at 2. Plus with kids and that, all this becomes difficult to manage.

It's a shame that men almost actively avoid socialisation, and that's definitely a factor too. And it's not just about hanging out with other guys either. Men and women stop hanging out together as well as they get older. Not good.

Anyway, hope you all feel better, pricks! You too @Scientician 0.8

Thumped = Online Mens Shed for Pricks
I go running a fair bit. I listen to punk tunes when I’m running alone so I don’t get bored. I’ve also got a handful of people from my old job that I meet up with regularly for runs so that’s good. So yeah, I’d recommend running.
 
Yeah I run a bit too. It's grand.
Having said that, you’re right about the tiredness thing. Energy levels definitely are not the same as you get older. I’ve had a busy week this week between working, meeting friends and doing stuff with the kids. I’m completely bolloxed now, spent a fair bit of today dosing on the couch
 
I'm having a very lonely stupor at the moment. I did everything I thought I could do to not be in this situation, yet here I am.

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Thanks
 
I'd like to give a *shout-out* to Whatsapp as it is genuinely a loneliness killer for me. I have a good mate who moved to finland years ago, but we talk shit every day over whatsapp. Same deal with a couple of friends from school who I would have lost contact with years ago without it.
 
Yeah I run a bit too. It's grand.
I find running pretty boring, but skipping (with a skipping rope) while pounding loud music is fun, for me at least. Also I've done a couple of courses of online dancing lessons, which is also kinda fun (fun for a couples too).

There's a tennis club nearby, was half thinking of taking that up. Maybe the social-ness of it would make it fun? I know fuck all about tennis, except for watching wimbledon as a child
 
I find running pretty boring, but skipping (with a skipping rope) while pounding loud music is fun, for me at least. Also I've done a couple of courses of online dancing lessons, which is also kinda fun (fun for a couples too).

There's a tennis club nearby, was half thinking of taking that up. Maybe the social-ness of it would make it fun? I know fuck all about tennis, except for watching wimbledon as a child
One of my brother’s joined a tennis club out his neck of the woods and loves it.

One activity I’ve been doing with my kids lately is wall climbing. We go to that awesome walls place in Finglas about once a month and do bouldering. It’s really good fun. My 9 year old got me into that. I think there’s a few places that do it around Galway as well
 
I found my week in hospital really good for my social interaction weirdly. I was in a ward with a gas character and we had a good laugh. I found myself taking cues from him when I was moved to another ward with just one other old guy. That could have gone badly as within 10 minutes he'd told me he was a hot head who was't taking to 4 of his kids.
I basically interviewed him and found ways into conversations about some horrible things (hunting mainly) and made it work.
How is relevant to this thread? I'm not sure but it feels relevant. I was out of my bubble and it was refreshing. Therapeutic.

I also can't complain about the Irish health service for a while. Everybody was amazing , from doctors to cleaners. Leaving was emotional.
 
... and I find if I go on a non-boring run (non-boring cos I'm actively thinking of something else while I'm doing it) then I'm likely to overdo it and injure myself. Hobbling around with sore knees atm cos I did this last week

Physical work is my escape. While I run*, and have in the past done the gym thing, the boredom kicks in really fast.

given the option of a days physical work (ie digging or something) or a 30min run I'd choose the former every time.

The headspace I get into when doing manual work (of all kinds) is something I dont get in any other form of activity.

* somewhat fallen out of the habit since christmas for a variety of reasons.
 
I'd like to give a *shout-out* to Whatsapp as it is genuinely a loneliness killer for me. I have a good mate who moved to finland years ago, but we talk shit every day over whatsapp. Same deal with a couple of friends from school who I would have lost contact with years ago without it.
Same here. That combined with Wordle has been keeping me in contact with people I possibly wouldn’t have otherwise
 

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