Sexism, god help us (1 Viewer)

[Lili Marlene]

A friend of mine followed a girl from the bus home one night, they ended up going out for a year.
I'm not sure I have a point though. Maybe that these exceptions somehow 'justify' the other times it happens?

I'd imagine she didn't spend the whole walk home ignoring him or telling him to go away though.

But yeah, some moron might hear that story and take it in an unfortunate literal way as a foolproof method of meeting someone.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

So, I was in the pub last night and there was a young couple getting a bit hot and heavy in one of the booths. As I was going out for a smoke some drunk old dude elbows me and points to the girl who was now sitting alone and says “she looks like a right goer” at full volume. I just ignored him but in hindsight maybe I should have called him up on it. He was a drunk old fool who was shouting stuff out during the pub quiz though so probably a lost cause.

 

[Space]

My ma got catcalled a lot back in the 60s. Mrs. egg_ says she has never encountered anything like this at all.

There aren't that many other women in my life, and I don't see them very often, but ask them I will. What about the women in your life, Moose?

I've witnessed my female friends being groped and having inappropriate comments made at them so don't feel the need to question others seeing as I'm very aware it happens.

 

[Cormcolash]

Smile

Street harassment video: A hidden camera records what women go through on New York streets.

Not only sexism but racism in the same video! Lots of people around the net pointing out that the white harassers in this video seem to have been mysteriously cut out for the most part.

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

I'd imagine she didn't spend the whole walk home ignoring him or telling him to go away though.

But yeah, some moron might hear that story and take it in an unfortunate literal way as a foolproof method of meeting someone.

Well, she did admit afterwards that she found it rather creepy. People are indeed strange.

Possibly, the problem is one of subjectivity, while one lady may judge someone's actions to be harrassment another may see no real harm in it so perpetuating the behaviour. All it takes is one positive* response and suddenly there's your justification to shout at every woman you think 'worthy' of being shouted at.

*I use positive in the loosest sense of the word.

 

[Cormcolash]

I got a dislike from nooly last week for saying i'd seen a comedy sketch where it highlighted that being hammered in ireland and chatting to women is normal and being sober means you are a creep. I don't know what i'm supposed to do any more.

Yep, this is pretty much true.

 

[egg_]

I've witnessed my female friends being groped and having inappropriate comments made at them so don't feel the need to question others seeing as I'm very aware it happens.

Ok

/me scratches head

What kind of sheltered life have I led? Is it cos I've been in a couple since I was 18 that this kind of shit doesn't seem to happen around me?

@nooly wtf? I haven't discounted anyone's experiences

 

[nooleen]

What kind of sheltered life have I led? Is it cos I've been in a couple since I was 18 that this kind of shit doesn't seem to happen around me?

that's pretty mystifying alright

 

[nooleen]

@nooly wtf? I haven't discounted anyone's experiences

how do you reconcile endless examples of this behaviour that you attribute to 'weirdos' with the idea that no-one in 'real life' finds it acceptable?

 

[Cormcolash]

For fuck sake I'm starting to believe I may be the only man alive who isn't a violent psychopathic misogynist.

Video: Diego Maradona is secretly filmed 'beating up' girlfriend in row over mobile phone - Telegraph


What the fuck.

Are you really surprised that Maradona is a dickhead?

 

[washingcattle]

I think she means that in everyday situations they are not considered weirdos. These are considered normal people and their friends probably laugh along with them if the girl tells them to piss off.

Since you posted some of your experiences here, which by the way were all fucking horrible.

I'm wondering , when you talked to male friends about these incidents what was their reaction ?

 

[washingcattle]

Are you really surprised that Maradona is a dickhead?

Of course not. I'm not surprised I'm disappointed. Again.

 

[egg_]

how do you reconcile endless examples of this behaviour that you attribute to 'weirdos' with the idea that no-one in 'real life' finds it acceptable?

There's a difference between "everyone" and "no-one". Clearly the people who do it think it's ok, but I don't think it's true to say that "nobody thinks it's a big deal" (and no I don't think youtube comments are evidence of anything much). Then again, before yours and @riath 's posts I had never heard a woman describing being followed in the street in Ireland

Can we drop this now? Our little squabbles are bringing the thread down

 

[Space]

Not only sexism but racism in the same video! Lots of people around the net pointing out that the white harassers in this video seem to have been mysteriously cut out for the most part.

I already posted the full article above somewhere but here's the relevant quote:

"The video is a collaboration between Hollaback!, an anti-street harassment organization, and the marketing agency Rob Bliss Creative. At the end they claim the woman experienced 100 plus incidents of harassment “involving people of all backgrounds.” Since that obviously doesn’t show up in the video, Bliss addressed it in a post. He wrote, “we got a fair amount of white guys, but for whatever reason, a lot of what they said was in passing, or off camera” or was ruined by a siren or other noise. The final product, he writes, “is not a perfect representation of everything that happened.” That may be true but if you find yourself editing out all the catcalling white guys, maybe you should try another take."

 

[jonah]

There's a difference between "everyone" and "no-one". Clearly the people who do it think it's ok, but I don't think it's true to say that "nobody thinks it's a big deal" (and no I don't think youtube comments are evidence of anything much). Then again, before yours and @riath 's posts I had never heard a woman describing being followed in the street in Ireland

Can we drop this now? Our little squabbles are bringing the thread down

Following someone down the street is an extreme example of controlling behaviour women experience on the street, and it might not always even be something a woman is comfortable discussing with everyone. But it does happen. Its happened to me, and its happened in ways that aren't always "threatening" on the most basic level, and it happens so often that women don't always even feel entitled to make a fuss about it, which is hilarious amounts of bullshit.

Like, frankly why should this even be about women trying to justify to men that this happens to them so much that its barely even noteworthy, that is a day to day part of their lives?

I had an argument about this video today in the lunchroom, with guys and girls. The arguments against this video were so various and some of them so bleeding weak. One girl was nervous that it would make it not ok to ever talk to a stranger on the street (i have no problem with this), another guy said that the guys motive (whether he's a nice guy with honourable intentions????) defines whether its harassment or not. Like... what? The MANS notion of whats going on defines whats happening? This is 100%, entirely without a smidgen of room for negotiation an issue about how women feel on the streets, and the fact that we're constantly saying or demonstrating that we feel objectified or sometimes rather unsafe is enough. this is all moot point in my opinion

also apols egg, this wasn't actually aimed at you, i just quoted you on one note.

 

[nooleen]

There's a difference between "everyone" and "no-one". Clearly the people who do it think it's ok, but I don't think it's true to say that "nobody thinks it's a big deal" (and no I don't think youtube comments are evidence of anything much). Then again, before yours and @riath 's posts I had never heard a woman describing being followed in the street in Ireland

Can we drop this now? Our little squabbles are bringing the thread down

sure we can drop it; you'll just need to stop quoting my posts and tagging me.

 

[washingcattle]

Like, frankly why should this even be about women trying to justify to men that this happens to them so much that its barely even noteworthy, that is a day to day part of their lives?

You make an interesting point in that it's barely even noteworthy to women. So when you share these stories with women is their reaction a shrug and "pppffft, men ! What are you going to do ?"

Because if nothing else the mens reactions to this video in this thread and other places I've read comments has mostly been surprise or shock if nothing else. I for one was very shocked by some of it. Most of us men are shocked by what you would put up with and I'm even more shocked that you would consider some of the more extreme stuff (like following you around or any of the stuff that happened to Raith) "normal".

 

[jonah]

You make an interesting point in that it's barely even noteworthy to women. So when you share these stories with women is their reaction a shrug and "pppffft, men ! What are you going to do ?"

Because if nothing else the mens reactions to this video in this thread and other places I've read comments has mostly been surprise or shock if nothing else. I for one was very shocked by some of it. Most of us men are shocked by what you would put up with and I'm even more shocked that you would consider some of the more extreme stuff (like following you around or any of the stuff that happened to Raith) "normal".

Its an interesting point! I think more extreme situations will creep you out so much, you probably will end up talking to someone about it, and maybe its just that I'm particularly jaded, but generally I shrug things off. The practice of all of this and hearing other women's stories still turn my stomach, so maybe I should be more outraged when it happens, because you're right, it is shocking!

 

[jonah]

I also think that sometimes it takes seeing this demonstrated in front of you, maybe even dramatised, for you to cop on to yourself, and realise what you do and don't have to put up with. I think women could stand to be more shocked and outraged by the things they, as I said, shrug off. I think its a knock on effect of not feeling like our outrage is necessarily taken seriously, maybe thats why you just accept it like its normal and shut up about it.. not ok t hough it is shocking.

 

[washingcattle]

Its an interesting point! I think more extreme situations will creep you out so much, you probably will end up talking to someone about it, and maybe its just that I'm particularly jaded, but generally I shrug things off. The practice of all of this and hearing other women's stories still turn my stomach, so maybe I should be more outraged when it happens, because you're right, it is shocking!

I also think that sometimes it takes seeing this demonstrated in front of you, maybe even dramatised, for you to cop on to yourself, and realise what you do and don't have to put up with. I think women could stand to be more shocked and outraged by the things they, as I said, shrug off. I think its a knock on effect of not feeling like our outrage is necessarily taken seriously, maybe thats why you just accept it like its normal and shut up about it.. not ok t hough it is shocking.

Do you think it's one of those situations where outrage usually goes towards the wrong person. Some creep follow's you in the street and you're scared and so say nothing and then some guy says "have a nice day" unsolicited and you explode with rage ? Or do you think that they're both the same thing ?

That may seem like a stupid question. It probably is. But I'm not being facetious. Honestly.

I mean men do that all the time, half the time it's why your poor skinny innocent mate gets battered outside pub. Misplaced outrage.